I have been struggling to decide what to post about for awhile now. If I blogged every time a new idea popped into my head, I would have posted 5 entries just today, and that's not counting the ideas I had yesterday, or the day before that... You don't want to read that many blogs, and I definitely don't have time to write them all.
There is one issue that's really gotten to me, and I know that if I don't speak my mind it will keep bothering me until I say my piece.
Christmas is just around the corner, and we seem to have forgotten why we celebrate it. It's right there in the name: Christ. For unto us, a child is born. Jesus was brought into this world to save us from sin. He took our burden of sin, and washed it clean so that we may live forever in Him. That is why we get together and celebrate. That is why we give gifts, to honor a generous God, who gave us the most precious gift of all, His life. We sing carols to praise him, and we light the candles of the advent wreath to glorify him.
"Well, I'm not religious" you say. Do you celebrate Christmas? Do you tell your kids about Santa Claus? Do you give gifts? You may not be doing all of this from a religious place, but you are borrowing elements from a Christian, religious Holiday. Do you know where Santa Claus came from?
St. Nicholas was a real man. He lived sometime during the 3rd century in what is now Turkey. He was born into a wealthy family, but his parents died when he was still very young. He used his inheritance to assist the needy, the sick and the suffering. He devoted his life to God. In a popular folk tale about him, he delivered lumps of gold to a poor family with three daughters that were about to be sold as slaves. The gold mysteriously appeared in stockings that were hung by the fire to dry.
Except, how do we celebrate Christmas now? We cause riots in stores over really low priced TVs and gaming systems and other electronics we have no need for. People get trampled and injured as we rush into stores to buy more items we probably don't need. We get up at the crack of dawn and force others to sacrifice their Thanksgiving so we can increase our material possessions and find the perfect gift for others as if our life depends on it. We spend hundreds upon hundreds of dollars in pursuit of the best gift, because it's not the thought but how expensive or high-tech the gift is now that determines its worth. We play Christmas music nonstop for months before Christmas, but are we actually listening to the message the songs are giving us?
I say no. If we were really listening, we would remember that Jesus came into this world to conquer sin with LOVE. He defeated Satin with LOVE. He gave us eternal life with LOVE. He loved us so much that he gave his life for us. That's an awfully big sacrifice that was made on my behalf, and your behalf. That kind of sacrifice shouldn't be taken lightly.
So here's a thought. This year, make Christmas about God. Make it about spending time with family. Make it about creating memories with those you love. Make it about helping those who are less fortunate than us. Make it about showing those you care about how much you love them.
It's not how expensive, or high-tech the gift is that shows it's true worth, it's the thought behind it. Don't forget that the best gift of all that you can give someone is your time, your energy and your love.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Exhausted Rantings of a Stressed Out and Possibly Insane Grad Student
First. My cat is making it almost impossible for me to write this post. Just saying.
Seriously?
Second. I am exhausted. I've been busy with work, and my internship, and schoolwork. It's a lot and I have gotten a little delirious in the process. My bad.
Anyway. For grad school, I have to log about 15 hours a week at an internship. My internship is about twenty minutes from my house, but since I have to drive smack through the middle of worcester at 7:30am three days a week, I ALWAYS get stuck in traffic. ALWAYS. If you know me well, then you know that I get bored easily and I have trouble sitting still for long periods of time. Obviously, this is a problem when I am stuck in the car for long periods of time in bumper to bumper traffic.
To ensure that I stay amused during my morning commute, I have invented a game. (You are probably thinking "Oh, No". Your musings are justified.) I have invented the game "Traffic Racing". I pick a car in one of the lanes on either side of me, I for some reason always get stuck in the middle lane, and I try to race them to where the traffic lessons. I keep track of them, and try to stay ahead of them. I smack talk the other car, and I taunt it. I get maniacal pleasure when I end up in front of them. I judge them if they "sell out" and move over to the fast lane if they weren't always there, usually with something along the lines of "Oh! I see you couldn't take the heat, that's right get out of the kitchen. I will still beat you!" If I eventually pull ahead and beat the car, after many trials of moving ahead and then falling behind, it is usually accompanied by "Slow and Steady wins the race, SUCKER!" *insert evil laugh here* I have two rules, obviously I have to continue driving safely, and I can't let the other driver in on the secret that I'm trying to race them. "Oh, so you don't want the competition" you might be thinking. No, I just don't want the other people on the highway to realize they have an insane girl sitting in the car next to them. Of course, sometimes my competitive side takes over, and I get a little animated, but I try not to cause a big scene. I drive past enough accidents on my way in as it is, I don't want to cause another one.
So there you have it. I am a grad student. I am exhausted. I have decided that pretend racing in traffic is the best use of my time on my way to my internship, and I might be insane.
If you see some crazed blonde in a black car on the highway pretending she is racing you. It's totally not me....heh
Second. I am exhausted. I've been busy with work, and my internship, and schoolwork. It's a lot and I have gotten a little delirious in the process. My bad.
Anyway. For grad school, I have to log about 15 hours a week at an internship. My internship is about twenty minutes from my house, but since I have to drive smack through the middle of worcester at 7:30am three days a week, I ALWAYS get stuck in traffic. ALWAYS. If you know me well, then you know that I get bored easily and I have trouble sitting still for long periods of time. Obviously, this is a problem when I am stuck in the car for long periods of time in bumper to bumper traffic.
To ensure that I stay amused during my morning commute, I have invented a game. (You are probably thinking "Oh, No". Your musings are justified.) I have invented the game "Traffic Racing". I pick a car in one of the lanes on either side of me, I for some reason always get stuck in the middle lane, and I try to race them to where the traffic lessons. I keep track of them, and try to stay ahead of them. I smack talk the other car, and I taunt it. I get maniacal pleasure when I end up in front of them. I judge them if they "sell out" and move over to the fast lane if they weren't always there, usually with something along the lines of "Oh! I see you couldn't take the heat, that's right get out of the kitchen. I will still beat you!" If I eventually pull ahead and beat the car, after many trials of moving ahead and then falling behind, it is usually accompanied by "Slow and Steady wins the race, SUCKER!" *insert evil laugh here* I have two rules, obviously I have to continue driving safely, and I can't let the other driver in on the secret that I'm trying to race them. "Oh, so you don't want the competition" you might be thinking. No, I just don't want the other people on the highway to realize they have an insane girl sitting in the car next to them. Of course, sometimes my competitive side takes over, and I get a little animated, but I try not to cause a big scene. I drive past enough accidents on my way in as it is, I don't want to cause another one.
So there you have it. I am a grad student. I am exhausted. I have decided that pretend racing in traffic is the best use of my time on my way to my internship, and I might be insane.
If you see some crazed blonde in a black car on the highway pretending she is racing you. It's totally not me....heh
Monday, September 16, 2013
Lines
You know when I started this blog, I was all "I'm gonna write every month" "this is gonna be great". I'm so naive sometimes.
Well, here I am after 5 months of silence. I could give a whole bunch of excuses, but we both know that I just plain forgot. My life got in the way, might as well fess up. I started grad school, and an internship and am working three jobs. (honestly can you blame me for forgetting??)
It's been awhile. I guess this is the part where we catch up, and I offer up a lovely little anecdote about how grad school is amazing and wonderful and tiring and scary all in one. I could talk about how I have found my true calling and I'm so happy. I could say that my internship is fantastic because I get to work with preschoolers...
Except, I don't really feel like it, because today I'm not feeling it. Today I am sick and pissed off. I'm sitting in my living room with a pounding headache, a sore throat, seriously blocked up sinuses and a pile of homework. Not.in.the.mood. Good thing I'm alone, because, well I would probably punch the first happy person I saw today in the teeth. Just saying. (I know, harsh.) Here's the thing, I am generally a very happy person. I have patience, and am empathetic and I listen. I hold my tongue and just listen. (I'm going to be a fantastic counselor someday). Except when I'm not. Then I'm a freaking lioness and I will mow you down like you just took my cub, and I don't care who you are.
Lines people. There are lines. Why is this so hard for people to understand? There are lines, and you don't cross them. They are there for a reason. The lines exist to keep us from doing stupid shit. You all know what I'm talking about. The line that's there between you and your boss. You don't cross that line and get all personal. It's a business relationship. You stay on your side of the line. You don't discuss aspects of your personal life, you don't ask them about theirs. You don't confide secrets, or discuss personal concerns. YOU JUST DON'T! When you do that, you place the other person in an awkward, uncomfortable state as they are walking around with knowledge that they weren't meant to possess. It's not okay people. Lines. You don't discuss personal information with everyone you meet. You don't let everyone in on what's happening. It makes things weird and confrontational when we run into someone you are having an issue with when all of your dirty laundry is out in the open with everybody. Lines. You don't send flirty texts to your employee. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE FREAKING MARRIED! LINES! You don't try and take care of someone when they didn't ask, need or want you to. Especially if you have a business relationship with them. Lines.
You think I'm naive. "Life is messy, people can't be expected to stay within the lines. There are exceptions." NO. Bull. I call a big, huge, stinking pile of bullshit. There are lines and you don't cross them. One of my textbooks has a section all about moral and ethical codes and whatnot. I think it is so completely ridiculous that there needs to be a whole section reminding counselors to never enter into a sexual relationship with a client. How is that even a thought that crosses your mind as a counselor?! Your job is to facilitate the emotional healing and well being of your client. That means that you don't have sex with them, ever, under any circumstances. "well what if you met the love of your life?" you say. Then give them a referral. It's easy. You don't cross the line. I don't cross the line. I put lines between myself and other people, why can't they respect that?!
You say "well if you always have lines and boundaries how can you say you have close friends? How are you going to fall in love?" Yes, I have lines. If I've known you for long enough, and we are just friends, or potentially something more, the lines might get smudged. But only if I trust you enough. Too many people have crossed my lines and pushed my boundaries, before I was ready, or before I had even established the line. So, until you can prove that you are worthy of erasing the line, it stays.
Maybe I'm cold. Maybe I'm naive. I have lines. I have boundaries. Don't cross them, and don't push them. They are there to protect me. You won't like what happens if you try.
Well, here I am after 5 months of silence. I could give a whole bunch of excuses, but we both know that I just plain forgot. My life got in the way, might as well fess up. I started grad school, and an internship and am working three jobs. (honestly can you blame me for forgetting??)
It's been awhile. I guess this is the part where we catch up, and I offer up a lovely little anecdote about how grad school is amazing and wonderful and tiring and scary all in one. I could talk about how I have found my true calling and I'm so happy. I could say that my internship is fantastic because I get to work with preschoolers...
Except, I don't really feel like it, because today I'm not feeling it. Today I am sick and pissed off. I'm sitting in my living room with a pounding headache, a sore throat, seriously blocked up sinuses and a pile of homework. Not.in.the.mood. Good thing I'm alone, because, well I would probably punch the first happy person I saw today in the teeth. Just saying. (I know, harsh.) Here's the thing, I am generally a very happy person. I have patience, and am empathetic and I listen. I hold my tongue and just listen. (I'm going to be a fantastic counselor someday). Except when I'm not. Then I'm a freaking lioness and I will mow you down like you just took my cub, and I don't care who you are.
Lines people. There are lines. Why is this so hard for people to understand? There are lines, and you don't cross them. They are there for a reason. The lines exist to keep us from doing stupid shit. You all know what I'm talking about. The line that's there between you and your boss. You don't cross that line and get all personal. It's a business relationship. You stay on your side of the line. You don't discuss aspects of your personal life, you don't ask them about theirs. You don't confide secrets, or discuss personal concerns. YOU JUST DON'T! When you do that, you place the other person in an awkward, uncomfortable state as they are walking around with knowledge that they weren't meant to possess. It's not okay people. Lines. You don't discuss personal information with everyone you meet. You don't let everyone in on what's happening. It makes things weird and confrontational when we run into someone you are having an issue with when all of your dirty laundry is out in the open with everybody. Lines. You don't send flirty texts to your employee. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE FREAKING MARRIED! LINES! You don't try and take care of someone when they didn't ask, need or want you to. Especially if you have a business relationship with them. Lines.
You think I'm naive. "Life is messy, people can't be expected to stay within the lines. There are exceptions." NO. Bull. I call a big, huge, stinking pile of bullshit. There are lines and you don't cross them. One of my textbooks has a section all about moral and ethical codes and whatnot. I think it is so completely ridiculous that there needs to be a whole section reminding counselors to never enter into a sexual relationship with a client. How is that even a thought that crosses your mind as a counselor?! Your job is to facilitate the emotional healing and well being of your client. That means that you don't have sex with them, ever, under any circumstances. "well what if you met the love of your life?" you say. Then give them a referral. It's easy. You don't cross the line. I don't cross the line. I put lines between myself and other people, why can't they respect that?!
You say "well if you always have lines and boundaries how can you say you have close friends? How are you going to fall in love?" Yes, I have lines. If I've known you for long enough, and we are just friends, or potentially something more, the lines might get smudged. But only if I trust you enough. Too many people have crossed my lines and pushed my boundaries, before I was ready, or before I had even established the line. So, until you can prove that you are worthy of erasing the line, it stays.
Maybe I'm cold. Maybe I'm naive. I have lines. I have boundaries. Don't cross them, and don't push them. They are there to protect me. You won't like what happens if you try.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Meanwhile in Chernobyl...
*insert annoying ringtone here*
Isn't that always the worst, when you wake to your annoying ringtone that you really hate and want to change, but keep because you hate it so much you actually get out of bed when it goes off so you don't have to hear it anymore?
Today is Friday, a gross, rainy, sluggish Friday. A not so great Friday. My day started with aforementioned annoying ringtone and just went downhill from there. Next, I got some wonderful news from my mechanic. Basically, they can't find the part they need to fix my car. If they can't find it, and they are still trying *fingers crossed*, I need a new car. SIIIIIIGH awesome. I can't really afford a new car right now so I'm really hoping they find the part.
Then, I went on autopilot and tried to drive to Job 1, even though I was on my way to Job 3, which of course made me 5 minutes late. Yay. Job 3= babysitting at the gym I go to so Mommies can workout for an hour and a half. I had my regular,s two adorable children, Baby Girl age 2, and Cutie Pie (little boy age 4). Except today Cutie Pie decided he was gonna play with these giant wooden blocks we have in the babysitting room, which was fine until he accidentally rammed it into Baby Girl's head with enough force to completely knock her off her little feet. This of course was a recipe for disaster. Instant screaming and tears. I rushed to Baby Girl and swooped her up to try and stop her crying. I thought it was just a little bump. Oh no. Giant blue bruise instantly. It was swollen a good 1/2 inch off her forehead with a foreboding line right in the middle. So, of course I had to have her grandmother stop her workout to come get her, because poor Baby Girl has to go to the doctor's to make sure she is ok. Obviously I'm feeling super awesome about myself right now. The only good thing about this was that after they left, I went down into the Cardio Room and had the best 45 minute workout of my life to work out all my frustration.
Let's see, oh yes, then we had blatant taking advantage of by my employers at Job 1, followed by frustrated temper tantrums by a 6 year old and getting yelled at repeatedly by an 11 year old on a power trip.
Well played Universe. Well played.
Don't worry it got better once I got out of work. I went out to this really awesome Tapas restaurant with Best Friend and her family. If you don't know what Tapas is, it's fantastic. It's basically a meal made up of a whole bunch of little appetizers. We had stuffed eggplant, roasted duck, guava paste and bread, honey toasted goat cheese, chicken, butternut squash risotto, fried calamari, lamb chops, duck, duck and more duck. I learned that I am a huge fan of duck, it is fantastically delicious. We also had a pitcher of sangria, which I have found I am also a huge fan of. Then we had flan and churros for dessert. Basically I probably won't eat for days I'm so full. But it wasn't just the food that made the night so special, it was the company. We could have been eating McDonalds (which would never happen because I don't eat fast food) and it would have been just as great. We shared stories, poked fun at each other, made jokes, laughed, we laughed a lot and we even talked politics. I also saw the funniest picture I think I have ever seen in my life. (see below, if you don't get it, google Chernobyl) Overall, it was just what the doctor ordered for my bad day.
So, as I lay here still in a food coma even though I've been home for a good 30 minutes (and it took me 25 to get home). I raise my eyes up to Heaven and thank God for such a wonderful evening. I thank Him for putting such wonderful friends and second family in my life. I thank Him for all that he had done for me. Even though my day had a horrible start, I know that God only throws what He thinks we can handle at us, nothing more. I may complain about how my day started, but I handled it, and God even threw me a bone at the end of the day. Thanks Lord, because you know I really really needed it.
I am still dying of laughter. This picture just cracks me up every time I see it.
Isn't that always the worst, when you wake to your annoying ringtone that you really hate and want to change, but keep because you hate it so much you actually get out of bed when it goes off so you don't have to hear it anymore?
Today is Friday, a gross, rainy, sluggish Friday. A not so great Friday. My day started with aforementioned annoying ringtone and just went downhill from there. Next, I got some wonderful news from my mechanic. Basically, they can't find the part they need to fix my car. If they can't find it, and they are still trying *fingers crossed*, I need a new car. SIIIIIIGH awesome. I can't really afford a new car right now so I'm really hoping they find the part.
Then, I went on autopilot and tried to drive to Job 1, even though I was on my way to Job 3, which of course made me 5 minutes late. Yay. Job 3= babysitting at the gym I go to so Mommies can workout for an hour and a half. I had my regular,s two adorable children, Baby Girl age 2, and Cutie Pie (little boy age 4). Except today Cutie Pie decided he was gonna play with these giant wooden blocks we have in the babysitting room, which was fine until he accidentally rammed it into Baby Girl's head with enough force to completely knock her off her little feet. This of course was a recipe for disaster. Instant screaming and tears. I rushed to Baby Girl and swooped her up to try and stop her crying. I thought it was just a little bump. Oh no. Giant blue bruise instantly. It was swollen a good 1/2 inch off her forehead with a foreboding line right in the middle. So, of course I had to have her grandmother stop her workout to come get her, because poor Baby Girl has to go to the doctor's to make sure she is ok. Obviously I'm feeling super awesome about myself right now. The only good thing about this was that after they left, I went down into the Cardio Room and had the best 45 minute workout of my life to work out all my frustration.
Let's see, oh yes, then we had blatant taking advantage of by my employers at Job 1, followed by frustrated temper tantrums by a 6 year old and getting yelled at repeatedly by an 11 year old on a power trip.
Well played Universe. Well played.
Don't worry it got better once I got out of work. I went out to this really awesome Tapas restaurant with Best Friend and her family. If you don't know what Tapas is, it's fantastic. It's basically a meal made up of a whole bunch of little appetizers. We had stuffed eggplant, roasted duck, guava paste and bread, honey toasted goat cheese, chicken, butternut squash risotto, fried calamari, lamb chops, duck, duck and more duck. I learned that I am a huge fan of duck, it is fantastically delicious. We also had a pitcher of sangria, which I have found I am also a huge fan of. Then we had flan and churros for dessert. Basically I probably won't eat for days I'm so full. But it wasn't just the food that made the night so special, it was the company. We could have been eating McDonalds (which would never happen because I don't eat fast food) and it would have been just as great. We shared stories, poked fun at each other, made jokes, laughed, we laughed a lot and we even talked politics. I also saw the funniest picture I think I have ever seen in my life. (see below, if you don't get it, google Chernobyl) Overall, it was just what the doctor ordered for my bad day.
So, as I lay here still in a food coma even though I've been home for a good 30 minutes (and it took me 25 to get home). I raise my eyes up to Heaven and thank God for such a wonderful evening. I thank Him for putting such wonderful friends and second family in my life. I thank Him for all that he had done for me. Even though my day had a horrible start, I know that God only throws what He thinks we can handle at us, nothing more. I may complain about how my day started, but I handled it, and God even threw me a bone at the end of the day. Thanks Lord, because you know I really really needed it.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Luke 23:34"
10:39 PM
I am sitting here with a tear streaked face, mascara everywhere and nose running, still breathing that funny choking breath of those who are still trying to recover from a major sob fest.
The credits are still rolling on my screen, but I am no longer paying attention. I am still processing what I have just witnessed over the past 2 hours. It is the night before Easter Sunday and I have just finished watching "The Passion of The Christ". I had never watched the whole movie before.
I am a Christian. I went to a Christian school from kindergarten until 12th grade. I literally grew up in the church. Basically what I am trying to say is that I know the Bible. I know the story of Jesus, practically by heart. I have heard/read it at least 50 times and that is probably low-balling it. I've studied his story, even gone in depth about what it would be like to be crucified. I've studied all aspects of how Jesus died.
However, that whole saying about a picture being worth a thousand words is 100% true. Watching the Crucifixion take place onscreen before me was a completely different ball-game. It also put into perspective exactly what Jesus went through just so that my soul would be saved. The physical pain must have been immense. I have no idea how he withstood the flogging, never mind carrying his cross up the hill and then finally the Crucifixion.
Just one thought was knocking around in my mind the whole movie.
"He went through all of this pain and suffering so that mankind could enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and I am not worthy. I am not worthy."
I mean, it's true. What exactly have I done that warrants someone giving up their life for me? I am just a lowly sinner along with the rest of mankind. But that's the point isn't it? I am just a lowly sinner along with the rest of mankind. Yet Jesus died so that I may live. He gave up his life so that I wouldn't be condemned to Hell under the burden of sin, a burden that I can't bear. I am a lowly sinner who has found her redemption in Jesus Christ. A lowly sinner who wishes nothing more than to have the world see how wonderful her God is. A lowly sinner who hopes that her thoughts and actions always point to her Savior. (They don't. I fall short sometimes, but it's something I will struggle with until the day I die. It is the cross we as humans bear. We are not perfect, we strive for it, but is is unattainable. Only through God can we be made worthy.)
So as my tears dry, and I wipe the mascara smudges from my eyes, I thank the Lord that he has provided me with such a wonderful life. I thank him that he sent his son to die for me on the cross. I thank him for loving him unconditionally, and I pray that maybe through my actions I may bring others to know him and his works.
I hope that each and every one of you is blessed with knowing God's love. I hope that you are able to see him and feel him in your lives the way that I do. I hope that you will accept him and know him and love him, because....It's the only way to live.
I am sitting here with a tear streaked face, mascara everywhere and nose running, still breathing that funny choking breath of those who are still trying to recover from a major sob fest.
The credits are still rolling on my screen, but I am no longer paying attention. I am still processing what I have just witnessed over the past 2 hours. It is the night before Easter Sunday and I have just finished watching "The Passion of The Christ". I had never watched the whole movie before.
I am a Christian. I went to a Christian school from kindergarten until 12th grade. I literally grew up in the church. Basically what I am trying to say is that I know the Bible. I know the story of Jesus, practically by heart. I have heard/read it at least 50 times and that is probably low-balling it. I've studied his story, even gone in depth about what it would be like to be crucified. I've studied all aspects of how Jesus died.
However, that whole saying about a picture being worth a thousand words is 100% true. Watching the Crucifixion take place onscreen before me was a completely different ball-game. It also put into perspective exactly what Jesus went through just so that my soul would be saved. The physical pain must have been immense. I have no idea how he withstood the flogging, never mind carrying his cross up the hill and then finally the Crucifixion.
Just one thought was knocking around in my mind the whole movie.
"He went through all of this pain and suffering so that mankind could enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and I am not worthy. I am not worthy."
I mean, it's true. What exactly have I done that warrants someone giving up their life for me? I am just a lowly sinner along with the rest of mankind. But that's the point isn't it? I am just a lowly sinner along with the rest of mankind. Yet Jesus died so that I may live. He gave up his life so that I wouldn't be condemned to Hell under the burden of sin, a burden that I can't bear. I am a lowly sinner who has found her redemption in Jesus Christ. A lowly sinner who wishes nothing more than to have the world see how wonderful her God is. A lowly sinner who hopes that her thoughts and actions always point to her Savior. (They don't. I fall short sometimes, but it's something I will struggle with until the day I die. It is the cross we as humans bear. We are not perfect, we strive for it, but is is unattainable. Only through God can we be made worthy.)
So as my tears dry, and I wipe the mascara smudges from my eyes, I thank the Lord that he has provided me with such a wonderful life. I thank him that he sent his son to die for me on the cross. I thank him for loving him unconditionally, and I pray that maybe through my actions I may bring others to know him and his works.
I hope that each and every one of you is blessed with knowing God's love. I hope that you are able to see him and feel him in your lives the way that I do. I hope that you will accept him and know him and love him, because....It's the only way to live.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Relax. I have a plan guys.
Generally I am 100% cool with the fact that I am chronically single with short intermittent periods of being in a relationship. I'm not very good at being a girlfriend. I'm headstrong, stubborn, independent and don't like letting people know what's going on in my head. Also, I hardly have time to see family and friends, I don't have the time for a man in my life. With working 4 jobs, going to the gym 3 times a week, going to church and spending quality time with family and friends I generally only have about 4-5 hours a week of down time and I prefer to spend that time curled up in a chair reading a book...alone. If left to my own devices, I would become a recluse. Sometimes I find being around people is exhausting. I have a low tolerance for idiots, small talk and gossip.
HOWEVER.
The thing I hate most about being a Bachelorette? The fact that every.single. male that comes into my life is suddenly marriage material to every.single. member of my family. I can't even say "oh hey, I think that is the little brother of one of my classmates from high school" without getting *elbow elbow* "he's cute right?" *wink wink* "go talk to him". >.< "guys...he's 17." "so?" ".....I'm 22."
Apparently it's unacceptable for me to be single at the age of 22. Since when did 22 become old cat lady??? It's a strange concept to me, because I was raised to be independent woman. I was taught to reach for the sky and keep pushing on until I reach my goals because "You can do anything you put your mind to". * I do not once recall ever being taught that I needed a man at my side to accomplish any of this.
So why, pray tell, is it all of a sudden essential that I have a man by my side?? It's not. I mean yes I want to get married someday and have children and own a house and all that. But. I don't want that right now! I just graduated from college and I'm about to go back to school to get my Master's. (I'm still overly excited about this and just had to take a short happy dance break.) Also, no offense guys, but I have NO desire to date ANY of the men currently in my life. I have a lot of great guys in my life, but they are all 100% friendship material. Nothing more.
That being said. Dearest family. I will someday meet the person I am supposed to be with. But until then, please get off my back. God has a plan for me, and right now that plan doesn't involve a man. I have very large dreams to accomplish and right now a relationship is on the back burner. So please just trust that I know what I'm doing, even when it looks like I don't, because eventually everything will fall into place. K? ok.
* literally every single day "Devon you can do anything you put your mind too". Every.single.day.
HOWEVER.
The thing I hate most about being a Bachelorette? The fact that every.single. male that comes into my life is suddenly marriage material to every.single. member of my family. I can't even say "oh hey, I think that is the little brother of one of my classmates from high school" without getting *elbow elbow* "he's cute right?" *wink wink* "go talk to him". >.< "guys...he's 17." "so?" ".....I'm 22."
Apparently it's unacceptable for me to be single at the age of 22. Since when did 22 become old cat lady??? It's a strange concept to me, because I was raised to be independent woman. I was taught to reach for the sky and keep pushing on until I reach my goals because "You can do anything you put your mind to". * I do not once recall ever being taught that I needed a man at my side to accomplish any of this.
So why, pray tell, is it all of a sudden essential that I have a man by my side?? It's not. I mean yes I want to get married someday and have children and own a house and all that. But. I don't want that right now! I just graduated from college and I'm about to go back to school to get my Master's. (I'm still overly excited about this and just had to take a short happy dance break.) Also, no offense guys, but I have NO desire to date ANY of the men currently in my life. I have a lot of great guys in my life, but they are all 100% friendship material. Nothing more.
That being said. Dearest family. I will someday meet the person I am supposed to be with. But until then, please get off my back. God has a plan for me, and right now that plan doesn't involve a man. I have very large dreams to accomplish and right now a relationship is on the back burner. So please just trust that I know what I'm doing, even when it looks like I don't, because eventually everything will fall into place. K? ok.
* literally every single day "Devon you can do anything you put your mind too". Every.single.day.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Unadulterated Joy
"Happiness hit her like a train on a track. Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back." (Thank you Florence and the Machine, your music always perfectly expresses what I'm feeling)
Today was just a normal day. Get up, make breakfast, work out. Go to work, hang out with a close friend after work. Except.
Except that when I came home, there was a rather large envelope with my name on it sitting on the counter. A rather large envelope from Lesley University. A rather large envelope that had the potential to crush all my hopes and dreams for the future. A rather large envelope that informed me that I am now a grad school student.
That smile hasn't left my face since my mother read me the letter. She had to read me the letter because I was hyperventilating/dancing like a maniac around my kitchen and couldn't read out loud. I am exploding with wonder and awe and happiness. Every 5 minutes I oscillate between random bursts of excited dancing and fervent praying in thanks to God. It is so wonderful for my life to finally feel as though it's on track. I know without a doubt that this next step in my life is exactly where I need to be. It just feels right and everything is falling into place.
All I have left to say is that I hope that someday this wonderful feeling of pure unadulterated joy someday unexpectedly hits all of you.
Today was just a normal day. Get up, make breakfast, work out. Go to work, hang out with a close friend after work. Except.
Except that when I came home, there was a rather large envelope with my name on it sitting on the counter. A rather large envelope from Lesley University. A rather large envelope that had the potential to crush all my hopes and dreams for the future. A rather large envelope that informed me that I am now a grad school student.
That smile hasn't left my face since my mother read me the letter. She had to read me the letter because I was hyperventilating/dancing like a maniac around my kitchen and couldn't read out loud. I am exploding with wonder and awe and happiness. Every 5 minutes I oscillate between random bursts of excited dancing and fervent praying in thanks to God. It is so wonderful for my life to finally feel as though it's on track. I know without a doubt that this next step in my life is exactly where I need to be. It just feels right and everything is falling into place.
All I have left to say is that I hope that someday this wonderful feeling of pure unadulterated joy someday unexpectedly hits all of you.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Stop. Listen. Do.
Age is but a number. Ever hear that one? Ever notice it's usually in defense of a young person who has the hots for someone far older than themselves? That's not why I'm using it...I was just thinking about how that's often the context in which we hear it in. Not tonight.
Age is but a number. I'm 22 years old. I still have most of my life ahead of me and oh so many memories still yet to make. But today I don't feel 22. Today I feel like I am at least 100, possibly 110. I just feel old, and tired.
I've told my friends and I'll say it here. I've always believed that I am an old soul in a young body. I don't really play well with people my age. I prefer to read, crochet, attempt knitting, cook, paint and spend time outdoors. I DON'T like rap, excessive drinking, drama, pop music (most days..some days I'm into it), those funny stupid movies like Anchorman, overtly dirty jokes...pants. I really really hate pants. I walk around most days a grumpy, easily offended little old lady. At least on the inside, that's me. I'm pretty good at throwing on a smile and making everyone believe that I enjoy being out in public. (Not to say that I don't have a handful of friends whose company I thoroughly enjoy.) Let's be honest. I cause problems out in public. I get hit on by...well everyone and I never know how to handle it so I just play along stupidly thinking it will make them go away. I do this every time. There is something wrong with me and it makes roommate worry.
On the other hand. I'm also happy a lot. I love little kids, anything sparkly, sappy romance-y stuff (unless it happens in real life, then I gag), etc. I am 110% a contradiction. I make no sense.
Oh wow. I got side tracked. Whoop. Sorry.
Right. I feel old today. I'm just...done. I dunno. Maybe I feel old and tired because I don't belong in this time period. My moral code, my music taste, my hobbies, they are all more suited to a young woman in the 1930-40s than 2013. I'm just not a current girl. I think that spending time with family, or watching a sunset with your own eyes is more important than a status update, or an instagram picture or a tweet. I don't think that today's music is good. I think it sucks. Who cares that some guy is running around buying your grandpa's clothes from the thrift shop? Ok Wait. Pause. Why is that even a song? Seriously. Who cares? I don't get it. Can't we focus on more important things than the next Bachelor or Bachelorette? Can't we use our amazing ability to reach hundreds of thousands of people on the internet via social networking websites to say something a little more intriguing/thought provoking/smart than what we had for lunch, or what silly little thing just happened to us? Don't get me wrong, I get caught up in this trap to sometimes. But I guess what I'm saying is..I think it's high time we started focusing our energy on something a little more substantial. Something a little more gutsy, something a little more "we are the future". Something we can be proud of.
That being said. It's Lent. The period in the Catholic calendar right before Easter. During this time, according to the Bible, Jesus went out into the desert for 40 days and nights, and fasted and prayed before he was publicly executed. During Lent, we are supposed to give something up in our own little fast. Unfortunately, most people just give up something random for the 40 days and don't really think anything of it. That's not the point of Lent. Lent is about making a sacrifice. It's about making a sacrifice and then praying about it. It's not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be hard. It's supposed to be challenging. It's supposed to make us think about the sacrifice that Jesus made for us so that we could live. For Lent this year. I'm giving up the mindlessness. I'm giving up getting involved in the next flash in the pan. I'm giving up all that junk that clutters my mind. I'm going to make an effort to read the Bible more. I'm going to make an effort to be more social, to be more informed, to make myself useful. To not just being another human being who just puttered on through life. I want to stand out.
What about you??
Age is but a number. I'm 22 years old. I still have most of my life ahead of me and oh so many memories still yet to make. But today I don't feel 22. Today I feel like I am at least 100, possibly 110. I just feel old, and tired.
I've told my friends and I'll say it here. I've always believed that I am an old soul in a young body. I don't really play well with people my age. I prefer to read, crochet, attempt knitting, cook, paint and spend time outdoors. I DON'T like rap, excessive drinking, drama, pop music (most days..some days I'm into it), those funny stupid movies like Anchorman, overtly dirty jokes...pants. I really really hate pants. I walk around most days a grumpy, easily offended little old lady. At least on the inside, that's me. I'm pretty good at throwing on a smile and making everyone believe that I enjoy being out in public. (Not to say that I don't have a handful of friends whose company I thoroughly enjoy.) Let's be honest. I cause problems out in public. I get hit on by...well everyone and I never know how to handle it so I just play along stupidly thinking it will make them go away. I do this every time. There is something wrong with me and it makes roommate worry.
On the other hand. I'm also happy a lot. I love little kids, anything sparkly, sappy romance-y stuff (unless it happens in real life, then I gag), etc. I am 110% a contradiction. I make no sense.
Oh wow. I got side tracked. Whoop. Sorry.
Right. I feel old today. I'm just...done. I dunno. Maybe I feel old and tired because I don't belong in this time period. My moral code, my music taste, my hobbies, they are all more suited to a young woman in the 1930-40s than 2013. I'm just not a current girl. I think that spending time with family, or watching a sunset with your own eyes is more important than a status update, or an instagram picture or a tweet. I don't think that today's music is good. I think it sucks. Who cares that some guy is running around buying your grandpa's clothes from the thrift shop? Ok Wait. Pause. Why is that even a song? Seriously. Who cares? I don't get it. Can't we focus on more important things than the next Bachelor or Bachelorette? Can't we use our amazing ability to reach hundreds of thousands of people on the internet via social networking websites to say something a little more intriguing/thought provoking/smart than what we had for lunch, or what silly little thing just happened to us? Don't get me wrong, I get caught up in this trap to sometimes. But I guess what I'm saying is..I think it's high time we started focusing our energy on something a little more substantial. Something a little more gutsy, something a little more "we are the future". Something we can be proud of.
That being said. It's Lent. The period in the Catholic calendar right before Easter. During this time, according to the Bible, Jesus went out into the desert for 40 days and nights, and fasted and prayed before he was publicly executed. During Lent, we are supposed to give something up in our own little fast. Unfortunately, most people just give up something random for the 40 days and don't really think anything of it. That's not the point of Lent. Lent is about making a sacrifice. It's about making a sacrifice and then praying about it. It's not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be hard. It's supposed to be challenging. It's supposed to make us think about the sacrifice that Jesus made for us so that we could live. For Lent this year. I'm giving up the mindlessness. I'm giving up getting involved in the next flash in the pan. I'm giving up all that junk that clutters my mind. I'm going to make an effort to read the Bible more. I'm going to make an effort to be more social, to be more informed, to make myself useful. To not just being another human being who just puttered on through life. I want to stand out.
What about you??
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
The Scent of Memory
The crinkle of the plastic wrapper, the slightly cinnamon-y scent of the cracker, and the feel of cardboard in my hands. These three things are so familiar to me that for a bit I am transported back several years. All of a sudden I'm 7 or 8 years old again, sitting in my grandparent's house, eating grahm crackers and drinking milk while we watch The Price is Right. I relish in this, because I know that the next time we sit at this table it will be lunch time, and they will make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich and change the channel to Barney even though I outgrew it about 5 years ago, even though I tell them that Barney is for babies every time.
Baby Girl (the little girl I watch Tuesday mornings) decides that I've been standing still, lost in thought far too long and she really wants that graham cracker in my hand. So, with a very loud "Augh!" she launches her spoon at me from her high chair as if to say "Hey! What's taking you so long?!" Shaking my head I feel the memories slip away as I bring myself back to the present, and calmly and sweetly remind Baby Girl "oh no yelling honey, say please. Can you say please?". She responds with repeating the "puh" sound for the next 5 minutes intermittent with the smacking of her little gums and teeth as she munches on her "na" as she calls it.
Later, when Baby Girl is taking her nap, I find myself thinking once again about my grandparents. All four of them. All gone now. I realize that I don't think of them often. I remember back to the last time I had all four of them in my life, I was 8. It's been so long that it seems they have slipped away, yet every once and awhile, like today they come rushing back. Whenever I smell graham crackers, or everytime I see a crow (long story, but one of my grandfather's used to make crow noises...) or whenever I play cribbage with my father. Little memories that seem far away, like they belong to another lifetime. Little memories that come crawling back, memories triggered by a specific sight, touch, smell or sound. Memories that remind me that I carry those I have lost with me always. They are always there just past my reach, never quite in focus, but always there when I need them.
Today, this post is just to remember those I have lost. Family and friend. Those who have left this earth and are now living peacefully and joyfully with God. I miss you all and I love you more than words can say.
Rest in Peace
Dorothy Boucher
Antoine Boucher
Natalie Cote
Robert Cote
Bobby Cote
David Cahill Sr.
Skip Cote
Uncle Bud
Aunt Rosemund
Lisa
Aunt Shirley Wrubel
Jane
Don't forget to remember those who have left this walk of life. They lived joyfully, and while there is a time to mourn, there is also a time to remember all the wonderful memories they have left us with. All the joyful times that they brought smiles to our lips and to our hearts.
Baby Girl (the little girl I watch Tuesday mornings) decides that I've been standing still, lost in thought far too long and she really wants that graham cracker in my hand. So, with a very loud "Augh!" she launches her spoon at me from her high chair as if to say "Hey! What's taking you so long?!" Shaking my head I feel the memories slip away as I bring myself back to the present, and calmly and sweetly remind Baby Girl "oh no yelling honey, say please. Can you say please?". She responds with repeating the "puh" sound for the next 5 minutes intermittent with the smacking of her little gums and teeth as she munches on her "na" as she calls it.
Later, when Baby Girl is taking her nap, I find myself thinking once again about my grandparents. All four of them. All gone now. I realize that I don't think of them often. I remember back to the last time I had all four of them in my life, I was 8. It's been so long that it seems they have slipped away, yet every once and awhile, like today they come rushing back. Whenever I smell graham crackers, or everytime I see a crow (long story, but one of my grandfather's used to make crow noises...) or whenever I play cribbage with my father. Little memories that seem far away, like they belong to another lifetime. Little memories that come crawling back, memories triggered by a specific sight, touch, smell or sound. Memories that remind me that I carry those I have lost with me always. They are always there just past my reach, never quite in focus, but always there when I need them.
Today, this post is just to remember those I have lost. Family and friend. Those who have left this earth and are now living peacefully and joyfully with God. I miss you all and I love you more than words can say.
Rest in Peace
Dorothy Boucher
Antoine Boucher
Natalie Cote
Robert Cote
Bobby Cote
David Cahill Sr.
Skip Cote
Uncle Bud
Aunt Rosemund
Lisa
Aunt Shirley Wrubel
Jane
Don't forget to remember those who have left this walk of life. They lived joyfully, and while there is a time to mourn, there is also a time to remember all the wonderful memories they have left us with. All the joyful times that they brought smiles to our lips and to our hearts.
Friday, February 8, 2013
The Internet is Scary
Roommate (my roommate from college who I still call roommate so I can pretend we still live together) and I were online shopping via Skype today. You know. Looking at beautiful dresses on websites we can't afford and sighing over it all.
modcloth.com
lulus.com
lilyboutique.com
These are fantastical websites that have beautiful dresses, and I would be very happy if they just appeared in my closet someday. Like this beauty.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/storied-romance-dress
Anyway...I found some other "beauties" on modcloth.com and I use the term beauties VERY loosely.
Here are some of the highlights. Enjoy.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/safari-supper-dress
Just in case you need to look sexy while on a safari.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/leaves-of-class-dress
You wear your Grandma's clothes. You don't look incredible.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/don-t-skip-dessert-dress
Or. Skip dessert and you won't have to wear this dress.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/great-lake-shimmers-dress
Forgot your portable disco ball? No worries. Just wear this.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/flare-and-square-dress
The 70s called. They want this dress back.
And lastly, but definitely NOT least
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/steppe-it-up-dress
So you can blend in, just in case you are being chased by an axe murderer at the zoo.
Seriously. There are some very misguided dressmakers out there.
Well I hope this was as much entertainment for you on a very very snowy evening as it was for me.
Goodnight, and please NEVER buy any of these dresses. I will hunt you down and take away your credit cards. For real.
modcloth.com
lulus.com
lilyboutique.com
These are fantastical websites that have beautiful dresses, and I would be very happy if they just appeared in my closet someday. Like this beauty.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/storied-romance-dress
Anyway...I found some other "beauties" on modcloth.com and I use the term beauties VERY loosely.
Here are some of the highlights. Enjoy.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/safari-supper-dress
Just in case you need to look sexy while on a safari.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/leaves-of-class-dress
You wear your Grandma's clothes. You don't look incredible.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/don-t-skip-dessert-dress
Or. Skip dessert and you won't have to wear this dress.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/great-lake-shimmers-dress
Forgot your portable disco ball? No worries. Just wear this.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/flare-and-square-dress
The 70s called. They want this dress back.
And lastly, but definitely NOT least
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/steppe-it-up-dress
So you can blend in, just in case you are being chased by an axe murderer at the zoo.
Seriously. There are some very misguided dressmakers out there.
Well I hope this was as much entertainment for you on a very very snowy evening as it was for me.
Goodnight, and please NEVER buy any of these dresses. I will hunt you down and take away your credit cards. For real.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Keep On Keeping On
"Keep On Keeping On. Keep On Keeping On. Keep On Keeping On."
This became my mantra said in time with the rhythm of my feet as I ran 6 avenues attempting to reach 34th Street between 10th and 11th Avenue before 6:40am.
What? You don't enjoy a brisk jog with a 25 lb backpack through New York City at 6am? Why the hell not?!
For the record. I don't enjoy this either. In the past 48 hours I have spent over 12 of them on public transportation, and I am so tired I could fall asleep sitting up right now. I have gotten maybe 10 hours of sleep total in the past two days and I am not to be trifled with right now for I would probably bite your head off. Just saying.
I had an audition in NYC for Pilobolus. If you don't know who they are, look them up. They are fantastic. Oh...I never said. By the way. I"m a dancer. I went to college for Dance and am currently attempting to get my Master's in Dance Therapy. Whoop. I forgot that I never quite got around to saying much about myself in that fail of an introductory post. Ha.
So basically Tuesday morning I woke up at 3:30am, caught a train to Boston at 4:45am, and took a bus from Boston to NYC at 7am. This put me in New York at 12pm. Whereupon I met up briefly with friends and then headed over to said audition. I was cut after round 1, which is ok. I'm tough, I can handle rejection, and I had so much fun just dancing that it didn't really matter to me.
I then spend several hours wandering Times Square waiting for one of my very close friends to get out of work. Of course I shouldn't be allowed to wander anywhere by myself, as I was promptly hit on by a black man in a monster suit who wanted to make "an Obama" with me. I swear the weirdest people find me. There is actually even some debate about whether I should be let out of my house at all considering the track record of ridiculous things that have happened to me.
Then this morning I woke up at 5am, and then proceded to sprint down 6 avenues to make my bus home in time. I made it, and then spend the next 7 or so hours in transit so I could get to work on time. The whole time muttering/thinking I just have to keep on keeping on.
Because isn't that the truth? We all have dreams.Me? I want to be a professional dancer. I want to be a dance therapist. I'm sure you all have that one special dream too. And of course, we all strive to reach them, but sometimes we fall a little short. But do we give up? Well some people do. But not me. Someday, I will reach my goals. It may not be in the exact capacity that I imagine them, but it will be wonderful and it will all finally work out timing wise. So until then, what will I be doing?
Oh you know, I'm just going to keep on keeping on. ;)
This became my mantra said in time with the rhythm of my feet as I ran 6 avenues attempting to reach 34th Street between 10th and 11th Avenue before 6:40am.
What? You don't enjoy a brisk jog with a 25 lb backpack through New York City at 6am? Why the hell not?!
For the record. I don't enjoy this either. In the past 48 hours I have spent over 12 of them on public transportation, and I am so tired I could fall asleep sitting up right now. I have gotten maybe 10 hours of sleep total in the past two days and I am not to be trifled with right now for I would probably bite your head off. Just saying.
I had an audition in NYC for Pilobolus. If you don't know who they are, look them up. They are fantastic. Oh...I never said. By the way. I"m a dancer. I went to college for Dance and am currently attempting to get my Master's in Dance Therapy. Whoop. I forgot that I never quite got around to saying much about myself in that fail of an introductory post. Ha.
So basically Tuesday morning I woke up at 3:30am, caught a train to Boston at 4:45am, and took a bus from Boston to NYC at 7am. This put me in New York at 12pm. Whereupon I met up briefly with friends and then headed over to said audition. I was cut after round 1, which is ok. I'm tough, I can handle rejection, and I had so much fun just dancing that it didn't really matter to me.
I then spend several hours wandering Times Square waiting for one of my very close friends to get out of work. Of course I shouldn't be allowed to wander anywhere by myself, as I was promptly hit on by a black man in a monster suit who wanted to make "an Obama" with me. I swear the weirdest people find me. There is actually even some debate about whether I should be let out of my house at all considering the track record of ridiculous things that have happened to me.
Then this morning I woke up at 5am, and then proceded to sprint down 6 avenues to make my bus home in time. I made it, and then spend the next 7 or so hours in transit so I could get to work on time. The whole time muttering/thinking I just have to keep on keeping on.
Because isn't that the truth? We all have dreams.Me? I want to be a professional dancer. I want to be a dance therapist. I'm sure you all have that one special dream too. And of course, we all strive to reach them, but sometimes we fall a little short. But do we give up? Well some people do. But not me. Someday, I will reach my goals. It may not be in the exact capacity that I imagine them, but it will be wonderful and it will all finally work out timing wise. So until then, what will I be doing?
Oh you know, I'm just going to keep on keeping on. ;)
Sunday, January 27, 2013
The Sum of My Parts
God works in mysterious ways. I've given up trying to understand how and have come to accept this as fact, He is mysterious, I will never fully understand reasons why He does something, but He has a plan. Good enough for me, because I'm human and make mistakes, I'm glad I'm not in charge...I would mess everything up.
This morning, in Church, I'm pretty sure one of the Bible passages read aloud was a very clear message to me. A very clear message followed by raised eyebrows and a stern look. As if God was saying...STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! I'm just going to put the entire passage here, because I think it is so important for everyone to read and know and understand.
1 Corinthians 12:14-26
"Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment...so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."
Wow.
How many of us can say that we struggle with self image issues? I'll be the first to raise my hand. We all do it, let's be honest. How many times have you looked in the mirror and hated the reflection staring back at you? Maybe you decided you are ugly, fat, stupid, going nowhere in life, whatever it is you struggle with, but you decided it. Well, it's wrong. Because the Bible clearly states here..ALL the parts are important and necessary, and beautiful and should be honored. He made us in His image, and everything is as it should be with our bodies. Nothing is out of place, nothing is wrong or ugly. We should be loving every single inch of our bodies. We should never be ashamed or hate anything about ourselves, because our Maker made us special. We are unique, there is no one else in the world exactly like me, and that's beautiful.
What's more? The Bible wasn't only talking about loving ourselves with this passage...he meant the Church. I bet many of you are thinking "Love the Church? You want me to love a building?" No. The Church isn't a building, the Church is a Body. Say what now?? Well, not ONE body. But a body made up of many parts just like our beautiful bodies. The Church is made up, not of bricks, wood, stones, whatever, but the PEOPLE who believe and follow Christ. The Church is made up of the PEOPLE who then take Christ' love and bring it to the world. The PEOPLE who are ministers, teachers, secretaries, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grocery store workers, garbage men/women, police officers, fire fighters, etc, etc. What this passage is saying is that ALL of these people are important, and all of them together make up the Body of Christ. No one part is more or less important. They are equal and necessary. So we should also be loving ALL PEOPLE equally just as we should love ALL the parts of our bodies.
I know. It's easier said than done isn't it? Oh, I'm going to stop the self hate. I'm going to stop judging myself and others. I'm going to be kind to that woman or man that drives me crazy. And then the next day, there you are staring yourself down with judgmental eyes in the mirror, or thinking things about the people walking by that you have no right to. It's the human nature, what can we do?
Oh so much. We can do oh so much. I will tell you what I have started to put into practice. My daily routine of self love. When I see my reflection staring back at me in the mirror and my mind starts disecting every inch of my flesh trying to find flaws and point them out. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and remember one of my favorite Bible verses:
Psalm 139: 13-14
"For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Then I open my eyes and force myself to say something nice about myself. It's hard at first, but once you get in the habit of turning the negative around, you'll find you are a happier person. You will find that those negative thoughts don't take over so often. And if I find myself thinking negative thoughts about another person, I stop myself and think "What if that person could hear what I am thinking right now? How would that make them feel? How would that make me feel?" It stops me cold every time.
I hope I have given you some food for thought on this blistery cold Sunday afternoon.
This morning, in Church, I'm pretty sure one of the Bible passages read aloud was a very clear message to me. A very clear message followed by raised eyebrows and a stern look. As if God was saying...STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! I'm just going to put the entire passage here, because I think it is so important for everyone to read and know and understand.
1 Corinthians 12:14-26
"Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment...so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."
Wow.
How many of us can say that we struggle with self image issues? I'll be the first to raise my hand. We all do it, let's be honest. How many times have you looked in the mirror and hated the reflection staring back at you? Maybe you decided you are ugly, fat, stupid, going nowhere in life, whatever it is you struggle with, but you decided it. Well, it's wrong. Because the Bible clearly states here..ALL the parts are important and necessary, and beautiful and should be honored. He made us in His image, and everything is as it should be with our bodies. Nothing is out of place, nothing is wrong or ugly. We should be loving every single inch of our bodies. We should never be ashamed or hate anything about ourselves, because our Maker made us special. We are unique, there is no one else in the world exactly like me, and that's beautiful.
What's more? The Bible wasn't only talking about loving ourselves with this passage...he meant the Church. I bet many of you are thinking "Love the Church? You want me to love a building?" No. The Church isn't a building, the Church is a Body. Say what now?? Well, not ONE body. But a body made up of many parts just like our beautiful bodies. The Church is made up, not of bricks, wood, stones, whatever, but the PEOPLE who believe and follow Christ. The Church is made up of the PEOPLE who then take Christ' love and bring it to the world. The PEOPLE who are ministers, teachers, secretaries, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grocery store workers, garbage men/women, police officers, fire fighters, etc, etc. What this passage is saying is that ALL of these people are important, and all of them together make up the Body of Christ. No one part is more or less important. They are equal and necessary. So we should also be loving ALL PEOPLE equally just as we should love ALL the parts of our bodies.
I know. It's easier said than done isn't it? Oh, I'm going to stop the self hate. I'm going to stop judging myself and others. I'm going to be kind to that woman or man that drives me crazy. And then the next day, there you are staring yourself down with judgmental eyes in the mirror, or thinking things about the people walking by that you have no right to. It's the human nature, what can we do?
Oh so much. We can do oh so much. I will tell you what I have started to put into practice. My daily routine of self love. When I see my reflection staring back at me in the mirror and my mind starts disecting every inch of my flesh trying to find flaws and point them out. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and remember one of my favorite Bible verses:
Psalm 139: 13-14
"For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Then I open my eyes and force myself to say something nice about myself. It's hard at first, but once you get in the habit of turning the negative around, you'll find you are a happier person. You will find that those negative thoughts don't take over so often. And if I find myself thinking negative thoughts about another person, I stop myself and think "What if that person could hear what I am thinking right now? How would that make them feel? How would that make me feel?" It stops me cold every time.
I hope I have given you some food for thought on this blistery cold Sunday afternoon.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
The Person I am in the Shower
Wait, sorry what was this post entitled? Yes. I turn into a very strange Doctor Who-esque monster/alien upon contact with water. Just kidding.
But actually, I realized the other day I am a completely different person in the shower than I am in real life. Anyone else experience this??
What I mean is for some reason, upon entering the shower and feeling the warm water engulf my poor, freezing body (the heat in our house is a perpetual 61 degrees...I spend most days wrapped in fleece) I am a different person. All of a sudden I am an incredibly proficient singer, regardless to what I sound like. Also, no judgement please, I turn into an incredibly fierce hip hop dancer. I know, weird right? My shower is the place where I dance like a freak while blasting music. Deal. It makes me happy.
The point is, that I could care less who is in the house while I am in the shower, I sing at the top of my lungs regardless of how on key I am. I dance like an idiot, because no one can see me, and I bop around the room like a five year old who doesn't know how to dance. Why don't I attack all aspects of my life with this fierceness and confidence?? I mean I do sometimes, but why don't I just stop worrying and approach everything with the reckless abandon that is hiding, right beneath my skin, waiting to be let out the next time I step into the shower.
Well, no more. I am making one of my new years resolutions to embrace my shower self, ignore my judgmental inner voice of evil self criticism (I can really do a number on my own self confidence..). IT STOPS HERE! I refuse to continue doubting, hiding and being meek. So watch out, if you see some crazed blonde-haired girl running around singing at the top of her lungs and dancing like an idiot, it's probably me.
Ok. Just kidding. But really I'm going to weld those two parts of myself together, and all I'm saying is you can't feign ignorance, I warned you all.
But actually, I realized the other day I am a completely different person in the shower than I am in real life. Anyone else experience this??
What I mean is for some reason, upon entering the shower and feeling the warm water engulf my poor, freezing body (the heat in our house is a perpetual 61 degrees...I spend most days wrapped in fleece) I am a different person. All of a sudden I am an incredibly proficient singer, regardless to what I sound like. Also, no judgement please, I turn into an incredibly fierce hip hop dancer. I know, weird right? My shower is the place where I dance like a freak while blasting music. Deal. It makes me happy.
The point is, that I could care less who is in the house while I am in the shower, I sing at the top of my lungs regardless of how on key I am. I dance like an idiot, because no one can see me, and I bop around the room like a five year old who doesn't know how to dance. Why don't I attack all aspects of my life with this fierceness and confidence?? I mean I do sometimes, but why don't I just stop worrying and approach everything with the reckless abandon that is hiding, right beneath my skin, waiting to be let out the next time I step into the shower.
Well, no more. I am making one of my new years resolutions to embrace my shower self, ignore my judgmental inner voice of evil self criticism (I can really do a number on my own self confidence..). IT STOPS HERE! I refuse to continue doubting, hiding and being meek. So watch out, if you see some crazed blonde-haired girl running around singing at the top of her lungs and dancing like an idiot, it's probably me.
Ok. Just kidding. But really I'm going to weld those two parts of myself together, and all I'm saying is you can't feign ignorance, I warned you all.
Friday, January 18, 2013
The Inception of Perception
I know, the title rhymes. I got excited too.
I bet half of you went straight to the movie Inception, I was actually referring to the original definition, not the idea of putting a thought into someone's mind via their dreams (although this is super cool and if you haven't seen the movie yet, get out from under a rock, watch it and get ready for your mind to be blown).
Inception - the beginning, start, commencement
and just for giggles
Perception - the act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding
One of those age old questions...How do I find happiness? I feel like that question is quintessentially what every human being's quest on earth is. We seek true happiness in all that we do, trying to find that perfect job, house, creating a family, surrounding ourselves with people that make us happy, etc, etc. And yet, so many of us are grumpy, bitter and jaded. Our pursuits of happiness more often than not leaves us unsatisfied. I believe this is the case because most people are searching for happiness in things that are only momentary. Money doesn't make one happy, but a lot of people believe it will and therefore spend most of their lives in pursuit of large quantities of it, only to end up miserable and alone.
I am a happy person, always have been and probably always will be. That's not to say that I don't have days where I can be a grumpy, scary lioness, but for the most part I'm chipper and cheerful. How do I stay so happy? Well for the most part, I accredit my happiness to my faith in God, cliche? Perhaps, but I swear it's true, having faith in something, and knowing that in the end, it's out of your hands takes so much stress and pressure off of a person.
But that's not all folks! Because it's also all about perception. How you view the chain of events in your life makes such a difference on your happiness and outlook on life. Are you a glass half full kind of person, or a glass half empty? When something happens in your life do you focus on the negative ways it's impacted you, or do you try to find some good that came out of it? Because if all you see is the negative, then how will you know if something good happens to you?
If all you see are the negative aspects of something how can you notice the little things that make you happy? I'm all about the little things. The trick is, you have to look for them, and once you are on the lookout, it's so easy to find a million little things a day that can make you happy. Once you get in the habit of doing that, well how can any once instance suddenly ruin your day completely to the point where nothing good happened at all?
How can you notice those nice little moments like when you are running like a boss, feeling bada** because you are listening to "Shipping Up to Boston", and you make eye contact with another runner going the other way and about 5 gigs of information pass between you in that glance "Hey. You're dying too? Awesome. It's so cold, this sucks. Don't give up. We got this.". You nod at each other, and then run that last mile even harder, because all you needed was that nod of encouragement to light that fire under your feet again. That is an amazing moment, but if you aren't looking for those little amazing moments and you miss them. You might never have even noticed the other runner, never made eye contact and never got that encouragement you needed. Instead you might focus all day on the fact that your run was awful because it was cold and you felt like you were dying the last 1.5 miles. Instead of how great it feels that you took charge of your fitness level and went running in the first place, and then pushed yourself that last mile. *
The Inception of Perception. In other words, start actively taking charge of how you view the events in your life and see if it just so happens to change your outlook and happiness level.
*In case you are wondering, yes I run. Yes, this exact story happened to me and yes it was awesome.
I bet half of you went straight to the movie Inception, I was actually referring to the original definition, not the idea of putting a thought into someone's mind via their dreams (although this is super cool and if you haven't seen the movie yet, get out from under a rock, watch it and get ready for your mind to be blown).
Inception - the beginning, start, commencement
and just for giggles
Perception - the act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding
One of those age old questions...How do I find happiness? I feel like that question is quintessentially what every human being's quest on earth is. We seek true happiness in all that we do, trying to find that perfect job, house, creating a family, surrounding ourselves with people that make us happy, etc, etc. And yet, so many of us are grumpy, bitter and jaded. Our pursuits of happiness more often than not leaves us unsatisfied. I believe this is the case because most people are searching for happiness in things that are only momentary. Money doesn't make one happy, but a lot of people believe it will and therefore spend most of their lives in pursuit of large quantities of it, only to end up miserable and alone.
I am a happy person, always have been and probably always will be. That's not to say that I don't have days where I can be a grumpy, scary lioness, but for the most part I'm chipper and cheerful. How do I stay so happy? Well for the most part, I accredit my happiness to my faith in God, cliche? Perhaps, but I swear it's true, having faith in something, and knowing that in the end, it's out of your hands takes so much stress and pressure off of a person.
But that's not all folks! Because it's also all about perception. How you view the chain of events in your life makes such a difference on your happiness and outlook on life. Are you a glass half full kind of person, or a glass half empty? When something happens in your life do you focus on the negative ways it's impacted you, or do you try to find some good that came out of it? Because if all you see is the negative, then how will you know if something good happens to you?
If all you see are the negative aspects of something how can you notice the little things that make you happy? I'm all about the little things. The trick is, you have to look for them, and once you are on the lookout, it's so easy to find a million little things a day that can make you happy. Once you get in the habit of doing that, well how can any once instance suddenly ruin your day completely to the point where nothing good happened at all?
How can you notice those nice little moments like when you are running like a boss, feeling bada** because you are listening to "Shipping Up to Boston", and you make eye contact with another runner going the other way and about 5 gigs of information pass between you in that glance "Hey. You're dying too? Awesome. It's so cold, this sucks. Don't give up. We got this.". You nod at each other, and then run that last mile even harder, because all you needed was that nod of encouragement to light that fire under your feet again. That is an amazing moment, but if you aren't looking for those little amazing moments and you miss them. You might never have even noticed the other runner, never made eye contact and never got that encouragement you needed. Instead you might focus all day on the fact that your run was awful because it was cold and you felt like you were dying the last 1.5 miles. Instead of how great it feels that you took charge of your fitness level and went running in the first place, and then pushed yourself that last mile. *
The Inception of Perception. In other words, start actively taking charge of how you view the events in your life and see if it just so happens to change your outlook and happiness level.
*In case you are wondering, yes I run. Yes, this exact story happened to me and yes it was awesome.
Monday, January 14, 2013
A Heavy Heart.
I am selfish. Here I was complaining (internally) all day about how this went wrong, or some annoying situation presented itself, or so and so was driving me crazy, and I went and forgot the date.
A month ago TODAY 26 families had a loved one ripped violently out of their lives for no apparent reason. It breaks my heart that those 20 babies who were killed never got to grow up to be the amazing men and women that I'm sure they would have become. My "crappy Monday" was nothing compared to the pain that the families of those victims went through as they marked the one month anniversary of the cold-blooded murders of their loved ones.
So please listen to this as you reflect on the names of those beautiful souls that have gone to rest in the arms of the Lord.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IO64urOFNaY
A month ago TODAY 26 families had a loved one ripped violently out of their lives for no apparent reason. It breaks my heart that those 20 babies who were killed never got to grow up to be the amazing men and women that I'm sure they would have become. My "crappy Monday" was nothing compared to the pain that the families of those victims went through as they marked the one month anniversary of the cold-blooded murders of their loved ones.
So please listen to this as you reflect on the names of those beautiful souls that have gone to rest in the arms of the Lord.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IO64urOFNaY
Charlotte Bacon, 6
Rachel D'Avino, 29
Olivia Engel, 6
Dylan Hockley, 6
Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, 47
Jesse Lewis, 6
Ana Marquez-Greene, 6
Grace McDonnell, 7
Anne Marie Murphy, 52
Emilie Parker, 6
Noah Pozner, 6
Jessica Rekos, 6
Lauren Rousseau, 30
Mary Sherlach, 56
Victoria Soto, 27
Daniel Barden, 7
Josephine Gay, 7
Madeleine Hsu, 6
Catherine Hubbard, 6
Chase
Kowalski, 7
James Mattioli, 6
Jack Pinto, 6
Caroline Previdi, 6
Avielle Richman, 6
Benjamin Wheeler, 6
Allison Wyatt, 6
So it is with a heavy heart that I post this, and many a prayer up to Heaven for those aching hearts here on earth.
John 10:27-29 “My sheep hear my voice, and
I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they
will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My
Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is
able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.”
Saturday, January 12, 2013
The Generous Game
Peals of laughter, unexpected pouncing, uncontrollable smiles and hugs, lots of hugs. A weekend with best friends always my heart swell with love and happiness. Nothing ever goes as planned and it's always the most fun we have ever had.
It all started Friday night, when I got to spend time with some friends from college that I haven't seen in awhile. The beautiful model, the soon to be NYC sensation and the amazing Boston ballerina. :) The evening was filled with Mexican food, frozen yogurt, cake pops, funny anecdotes, crazy stories and hilariously bad dance videos. Just what the doctor ordered for a cold, rainy, icy night after a long week at work.
(I'm the crazed one in the corner wearing glasses...)
Then this morning, The Three Musketeers were once again wreaking havoc as we gallivanted through the nearby city. The Three Musketeers consist of two of my oldest and dearest friends, friends since middle school. True to form, we started with the plan to get brunch at IHOP, ended up getting slightly lost, accidentally drove the wrong way down a few one way streets and ended up in a wonderful little hole in the wall diner. Which by the way, had one of the best omelets I've ever had, so there IHOP and your 1.5 hour wait....
Aaaanyway, The Three Musketeers and I have this thing called The Generous Game. Well, we've never actually called it that until today, but it's something that we've done for years. It's something that we've done for years without ever talking about it, or deciding it's something we would do. We just do it. You're probably wondering what I mean by the Generous Game. Ha! Well...basically one of us does something extremely generous for another member of our little group without expectation of reciprocation, simply because we want to. And the other members protest and try to pay the other one back. The originator refuses money and that's the end. The next time we meet, it begins again, but miraculously (without a single word having been uttered, or a schedule made) a different member begins the whole process. It's a plethora of random acts of kindness and generosity between us and it's beautiful. What other way to celebrate our friendship and our mutual love of a equally generous God, than by being spontaneously generous ourselves? I challenge you all to do the same. It's simple, next time you go out, you simply pick up the tab, maybe not for the whole group, just one member, but you do it without the expectation of being reimbursed. Or you give the friend who travels the most a little extra gas money, or an unexpected present simply because you were thinking of someone. It gets you in a charitable, generous mood, and it makes you feel wonderful. Challenge accepted? I hope so.
Then this morning, The Three Musketeers were once again wreaking havoc as we gallivanted through the nearby city. The Three Musketeers consist of two of my oldest and dearest friends, friends since middle school. True to form, we started with the plan to get brunch at IHOP, ended up getting slightly lost, accidentally drove the wrong way down a few one way streets and ended up in a wonderful little hole in the wall diner. Which by the way, had one of the best omelets I've ever had, so there IHOP and your 1.5 hour wait....
Aaaanyway, The Three Musketeers and I have this thing called The Generous Game. Well, we've never actually called it that until today, but it's something that we've done for years. It's something that we've done for years without ever talking about it, or deciding it's something we would do. We just do it. You're probably wondering what I mean by the Generous Game. Ha! Well...basically one of us does something extremely generous for another member of our little group without expectation of reciprocation, simply because we want to. And the other members protest and try to pay the other one back. The originator refuses money and that's the end. The next time we meet, it begins again, but miraculously (without a single word having been uttered, or a schedule made) a different member begins the whole process. It's a plethora of random acts of kindness and generosity between us and it's beautiful. What other way to celebrate our friendship and our mutual love of a equally generous God, than by being spontaneously generous ourselves? I challenge you all to do the same. It's simple, next time you go out, you simply pick up the tab, maybe not for the whole group, just one member, but you do it without the expectation of being reimbursed. Or you give the friend who travels the most a little extra gas money, or an unexpected present simply because you were thinking of someone. It gets you in a charitable, generous mood, and it makes you feel wonderful. Challenge accepted? I hope so.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Because Technology Hates Me
If you want to subscribe to this blog you have to scroll down all the way to the bottom and underneath Home, in tiny letters it says subscribe to posts (atom) click on this and voila! I tried to change it and the website won't let me...probably because most technology hates me and doesn't let me do cool things. Go figure. Sorry if there was any confusion.
Good Riddance Evil Laptop
Hello again readers...if I have any. Today I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Today I feel as though I am light as a feather and if gravity wasn't constantly pulling me down and anchoring me to the earth I would be floating up, up and away. Up to the heavens. Alas, gravity exists so here I am dutifully following it's laws.
I am so light because, after much stress, anxiety, worrying and tears my application for graduate school is sent off. Well, mostly sent off. There are a few loose ends, but the major grunt work is done and over with. Boy does this feel wonderful. Or at least it felt wonderful until my old laptop which contains every single paper I ever wrote on it decided it would end it's life with one final act of f*** you Devon. It decided that it would die off on my just as I was trying to email the paper I had chosen for my academic writing sample to send off to Lesley. I had just spent an hour proofreading, and fixing the paper so it was amazing aaaaaand lost. But worry not, dear reader, because see God has a plan and we can't always see it, but he has one. My senior year of college, I didn't have a printer, which meant whenever a paper was due I had to email it to myself, drag my butt out of bed 30 minutes earlier than I usually would, and trudge over to the library before class to print it out. It made me rather grumpy at times, and when the library wasn't open when I got there, it made me slightly homicidal at 7:20am on a Monday morning. However, this means that there is a copy of every single paper I wrote my senior year just sitting there in my email account waiting for me to access it. See? Told you, there is a reason for everything in this world and we can't always see it at the moment.
So, keep your head up, you might be going through some tough time (not saying that whatever you are going through parallels my paper problems, I'm sure that is nothing compared to what some people face every morning, and I'm not saying my life is horrible or anything, this was a minor pain in the butt) or facing something that's just plain annoying, but there's a bigger plan out there, we just can't see it. Sometimes it takes hindsight to realize that whatever it is we went through was just preparing us for some little setback further down the line that we are now equipped to handle.
I am so light because, after much stress, anxiety, worrying and tears my application for graduate school is sent off. Well, mostly sent off. There are a few loose ends, but the major grunt work is done and over with. Boy does this feel wonderful. Or at least it felt wonderful until my old laptop which contains every single paper I ever wrote on it decided it would end it's life with one final act of f*** you Devon. It decided that it would die off on my just as I was trying to email the paper I had chosen for my academic writing sample to send off to Lesley. I had just spent an hour proofreading, and fixing the paper so it was amazing aaaaaand lost. But worry not, dear reader, because see God has a plan and we can't always see it, but he has one. My senior year of college, I didn't have a printer, which meant whenever a paper was due I had to email it to myself, drag my butt out of bed 30 minutes earlier than I usually would, and trudge over to the library before class to print it out. It made me rather grumpy at times, and when the library wasn't open when I got there, it made me slightly homicidal at 7:20am on a Monday morning. However, this means that there is a copy of every single paper I wrote my senior year just sitting there in my email account waiting for me to access it. See? Told you, there is a reason for everything in this world and we can't always see it at the moment.
So, keep your head up, you might be going through some tough time (not saying that whatever you are going through parallels my paper problems, I'm sure that is nothing compared to what some people face every morning, and I'm not saying my life is horrible or anything, this was a minor pain in the butt) or facing something that's just plain annoying, but there's a bigger plan out there, we just can't see it. Sometimes it takes hindsight to realize that whatever it is we went through was just preparing us for some little setback further down the line that we are now equipped to handle.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Me. Well sort of.
I know. It seems like everyone and their mother has a blog these days. So who am I to assume that what I have to say is important enough to garner an audience. Maybe no one will read this, and you know, oddly I'm okay with that. Come what may, I will diligently place my dear and precious thoughts and leave it up to you, oh wanderer of the internet, whether or not you deem them important or interesting enough to warrant a read through.
Well then, perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is not actually Lionne, it's Devon, but I prefer Dev. Lionne is my nickname from a very dear friend/confidant/roommate of mine and it sort of stuck. Actually, she has a blog and you should all read it, because she's brilliant. She will deny it until she's blue in the face, but it's true, don't let her tell you otherwise. Check it out:
http://heavnlyflower.blogspot.com/
Oh dear, I've been sidetracked...this happens frequently. If it bothers you, you should leave this page right now and never return, because I'm giving you fair warning, it happens often. I can't even count how many times I've left someone hanging in the middle of a story because a newer, more interesting thought just occured to me.
How do I explain who I am? The English language contains no such word that singularly can summarize a person. Simply put I am a human being, and human beings are alive. But that doesn't quite cover it now does it? There are so many things that are alive...plants, trees, animals, just alive doesn't even begin to explain the complexity of a human being. I am a Christian, an Auntie, a nanny, a friend, a dancer, a scholar, a writer, an artist, a daughter, a model, a sister, a Godmother. I am creative, intelligent, kind, hopefully humble, sometimes a little selfish, fearful, excited, happy, sad, loved. I am always laughing, singing, pretending, loving, doing, moving, pretending I'm not crying, joking, unintentionally flirting, intentionally flirting, talking, shouting...I could go on for days. Human beings are so much, and can do so much that no single word can ever describe any human being past, present or future. At any given time every single person on this planet is most of if not all those things I listed. So how then, can we be so STUPID as to EVER label another human being as one word?! How can we label people and file them into categories. No one word ever defines a human being. Human beings are complex and beautiful and brilliant. ALL OF THEM.
Labels. They are stupid. Stop using them.
See what I did there? I started telling you about myself and got sidetracked...oh boy
Perhaps it's better if I just let you get to know me little by little through this blog. K? Okay.
Well then, perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is not actually Lionne, it's Devon, but I prefer Dev. Lionne is my nickname from a very dear friend/confidant/roommate of mine and it sort of stuck. Actually, she has a blog and you should all read it, because she's brilliant. She will deny it until she's blue in the face, but it's true, don't let her tell you otherwise. Check it out:
http://heavnlyflower.blogspot.com/
Oh dear, I've been sidetracked...this happens frequently. If it bothers you, you should leave this page right now and never return, because I'm giving you fair warning, it happens often. I can't even count how many times I've left someone hanging in the middle of a story because a newer, more interesting thought just occured to me.
How do I explain who I am? The English language contains no such word that singularly can summarize a person. Simply put I am a human being, and human beings are alive. But that doesn't quite cover it now does it? There are so many things that are alive...plants, trees, animals, just alive doesn't even begin to explain the complexity of a human being. I am a Christian, an Auntie, a nanny, a friend, a dancer, a scholar, a writer, an artist, a daughter, a model, a sister, a Godmother. I am creative, intelligent, kind, hopefully humble, sometimes a little selfish, fearful, excited, happy, sad, loved. I am always laughing, singing, pretending, loving, doing, moving, pretending I'm not crying, joking, unintentionally flirting, intentionally flirting, talking, shouting...I could go on for days. Human beings are so much, and can do so much that no single word can ever describe any human being past, present or future. At any given time every single person on this planet is most of if not all those things I listed. So how then, can we be so STUPID as to EVER label another human being as one word?! How can we label people and file them into categories. No one word ever defines a human being. Human beings are complex and beautiful and brilliant. ALL OF THEM.
Labels. They are stupid. Stop using them.
See what I did there? I started telling you about myself and got sidetracked...oh boy
Perhaps it's better if I just let you get to know me little by little through this blog. K? Okay.
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