The Feminist Lie

Everywhere I turn lately, I see posts about women and feminism and the messages we are sending our children about gender and gender roles. Don't get me wrong, this is a great thing, and I am all for it. We should be talking about these topics. The amount of photoshopped images out there is disgusting and should piss us off. The subliminal messages that are being sent out through movies and television about women are offensive and need to change. The sexualization of women in advertising is out of control.

But what about men? 

I recently watched a TED talk called "The Sexy Lie" by Caroline Heldmen (as seen below). It's a really great video, and you should definitely watch it. 

Except, my reaction after viewing it was "yeah but we totally do the same thing to guys". Men are sexualized all the time in advertising, just look at some of the images I found below. Remember those questions to ask to see if someone is being represented as a sex object?

Does the image suggest that sexual availability is the defining characteristic of the person?

Does the image show a sexualized person as interchangeable?

 Does the image show only parts of a sexualized person's body?

I don't really think I have to spell it out for you, but just to be clear...women aren't the only ones being sexualized in the media. You might have noticed the title of this blog post. Just humor me. Feminism, by definition is "the doctrine advocating social, political, and other rights of women equal to those of men"(thank you dictionary.com). It isn't the belief system where we fight only for women's rights and forget everyone else. Yes, men hold privilege in our society, but that doesn't mean we should say nothing when they fall victim to sexualization in the media, just like women. The video above talks about the negative effects that female sexualization has on girls and women: shame, body monitoring, etc.  Female sexualization also teaches men to view women as sex objects. Ok great, what about the effects of male sexualization? Wouldn't that teach women to view men as sex objects? Wouldn't that negatively affect men, and make them worry about if they "measure up" or are "sexy" enough? 

I'm just saying that if we are going to have that conversation about women as sex objects, we also have to have that conversation about men. If we are going to advocate for equal rights, we can't just advocate for women, we have to advocate for all minorities, and for all people. Men aren't a minority group. That doesn't mean that they aren't negatively depicted or affected by the images they see everyday in the media.

If we are going to tell men that they need to monitor their sexually charged language when referring to women, shouldn't we be saying the same thing to women about men? If we want to change the fact that sex sells, maybe we need to change the way that ALL people of ALL different gender and sexual orientation are depicted. 

I've always been of the viewpoint that there is more to a person than their physical appearance. The traits I look for in a partner are passion, intelligence, a kind heart and a sense of humor. A person may be physically attractive, but if I can't have a conversation with you, if you can't make me laugh, if you don't treat people with the respect they deserve, and if you don't have a sense of purpose to your life, well you could be Tom Hiddleston's look alike for all I care, but I'm not interested. 

Feminism isn't just about female rights, or at least I don't think it should be. It should be about advocating for equal rights and treatment for all people regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, etc. Isn't it about time we treated people, like people?