10:39 PM
I am sitting here with a tear streaked face, mascara everywhere and nose running, still breathing that funny choking breath of those who are still trying to recover from a major sob fest.
The credits are still rolling on my screen, but I am no longer paying attention. I am still processing what I have just witnessed over the past 2 hours. It is the night before Easter Sunday and I have just finished watching "The Passion of The Christ". I had never watched the whole movie before.
I am a Christian. I went to a Christian school from kindergarten until 12th grade. I literally grew up in the church. Basically what I am trying to say is that I know the Bible. I know the story of Jesus, practically by heart. I have heard/read it at least 50 times and that is probably low-balling it. I've studied his story, even gone in depth about what it would be like to be crucified. I've studied all aspects of how Jesus died.
However, that whole saying about a picture being worth a thousand words is 100% true. Watching the Crucifixion take place onscreen before me was a completely different ball-game. It also put into perspective exactly what Jesus went through just so that my soul would be saved. The physical pain must have been immense. I have no idea how he withstood the flogging, never mind carrying his cross up the hill and then finally the Crucifixion.
Just one thought was knocking around in my mind the whole movie.
"He went through all of this pain and suffering so that mankind could enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and I am not worthy. I am not worthy."
I mean, it's true. What exactly have I done that warrants someone giving up their life for me? I am just a lowly sinner along with the rest of mankind. But that's the point isn't it? I am just a lowly sinner along with the rest of mankind. Yet Jesus died so that I may live. He gave up his life so that I wouldn't be condemned to Hell under the burden of sin, a burden that I can't bear. I am a lowly sinner who has found her redemption in Jesus Christ. A lowly sinner who wishes nothing more than to have the world see how wonderful her God is. A lowly sinner who hopes that her thoughts and actions always point to her Savior. (They don't. I fall short sometimes, but it's something I will struggle with until the day I die. It is the cross we as humans bear. We are not perfect, we strive for it, but is is unattainable. Only through God can we be made worthy.)
So as my tears dry, and I wipe the mascara smudges from my eyes, I thank the Lord that he has provided me with such a wonderful life. I thank him that he sent his son to die for me on the cross. I thank him for loving him unconditionally, and I pray that maybe through my actions I may bring others to know him and his works.
I hope that each and every one of you is blessed with knowing God's love. I hope that you are able to see him and feel him in your lives the way that I do. I hope that you will accept him and know him and love him, because....It's the only way to live.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Relax. I have a plan guys.
Generally I am 100% cool with the fact that I am chronically single with short intermittent periods of being in a relationship. I'm not very good at being a girlfriend. I'm headstrong, stubborn, independent and don't like letting people know what's going on in my head. Also, I hardly have time to see family and friends, I don't have the time for a man in my life. With working 4 jobs, going to the gym 3 times a week, going to church and spending quality time with family and friends I generally only have about 4-5 hours a week of down time and I prefer to spend that time curled up in a chair reading a book...alone. If left to my own devices, I would become a recluse. Sometimes I find being around people is exhausting. I have a low tolerance for idiots, small talk and gossip.
HOWEVER.
The thing I hate most about being a Bachelorette? The fact that every.single. male that comes into my life is suddenly marriage material to every.single. member of my family. I can't even say "oh hey, I think that is the little brother of one of my classmates from high school" without getting *elbow elbow* "he's cute right?" *wink wink* "go talk to him". >.< "guys...he's 17." "so?" ".....I'm 22."
Apparently it's unacceptable for me to be single at the age of 22. Since when did 22 become old cat lady??? It's a strange concept to me, because I was raised to be independent woman. I was taught to reach for the sky and keep pushing on until I reach my goals because "You can do anything you put your mind to". * I do not once recall ever being taught that I needed a man at my side to accomplish any of this.
So why, pray tell, is it all of a sudden essential that I have a man by my side?? It's not. I mean yes I want to get married someday and have children and own a house and all that. But. I don't want that right now! I just graduated from college and I'm about to go back to school to get my Master's. (I'm still overly excited about this and just had to take a short happy dance break.) Also, no offense guys, but I have NO desire to date ANY of the men currently in my life. I have a lot of great guys in my life, but they are all 100% friendship material. Nothing more.
That being said. Dearest family. I will someday meet the person I am supposed to be with. But until then, please get off my back. God has a plan for me, and right now that plan doesn't involve a man. I have very large dreams to accomplish and right now a relationship is on the back burner. So please just trust that I know what I'm doing, even when it looks like I don't, because eventually everything will fall into place. K? ok.
* literally every single day "Devon you can do anything you put your mind too". Every.single.day.
HOWEVER.
The thing I hate most about being a Bachelorette? The fact that every.single. male that comes into my life is suddenly marriage material to every.single. member of my family. I can't even say "oh hey, I think that is the little brother of one of my classmates from high school" without getting *elbow elbow* "he's cute right?" *wink wink* "go talk to him". >.< "guys...he's 17." "so?" ".....I'm 22."
Apparently it's unacceptable for me to be single at the age of 22. Since when did 22 become old cat lady??? It's a strange concept to me, because I was raised to be independent woman. I was taught to reach for the sky and keep pushing on until I reach my goals because "You can do anything you put your mind to". * I do not once recall ever being taught that I needed a man at my side to accomplish any of this.
So why, pray tell, is it all of a sudden essential that I have a man by my side?? It's not. I mean yes I want to get married someday and have children and own a house and all that. But. I don't want that right now! I just graduated from college and I'm about to go back to school to get my Master's. (I'm still overly excited about this and just had to take a short happy dance break.) Also, no offense guys, but I have NO desire to date ANY of the men currently in my life. I have a lot of great guys in my life, but they are all 100% friendship material. Nothing more.
That being said. Dearest family. I will someday meet the person I am supposed to be with. But until then, please get off my back. God has a plan for me, and right now that plan doesn't involve a man. I have very large dreams to accomplish and right now a relationship is on the back burner. So please just trust that I know what I'm doing, even when it looks like I don't, because eventually everything will fall into place. K? ok.
* literally every single day "Devon you can do anything you put your mind too". Every.single.day.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Unadulterated Joy
"Happiness hit her like a train on a track. Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back." (Thank you Florence and the Machine, your music always perfectly expresses what I'm feeling)
Today was just a normal day. Get up, make breakfast, work out. Go to work, hang out with a close friend after work. Except.
Except that when I came home, there was a rather large envelope with my name on it sitting on the counter. A rather large envelope from Lesley University. A rather large envelope that had the potential to crush all my hopes and dreams for the future. A rather large envelope that informed me that I am now a grad school student.
That smile hasn't left my face since my mother read me the letter. She had to read me the letter because I was hyperventilating/dancing like a maniac around my kitchen and couldn't read out loud. I am exploding with wonder and awe and happiness. Every 5 minutes I oscillate between random bursts of excited dancing and fervent praying in thanks to God. It is so wonderful for my life to finally feel as though it's on track. I know without a doubt that this next step in my life is exactly where I need to be. It just feels right and everything is falling into place.
All I have left to say is that I hope that someday this wonderful feeling of pure unadulterated joy someday unexpectedly hits all of you.
Today was just a normal day. Get up, make breakfast, work out. Go to work, hang out with a close friend after work. Except.
Except that when I came home, there was a rather large envelope with my name on it sitting on the counter. A rather large envelope from Lesley University. A rather large envelope that had the potential to crush all my hopes and dreams for the future. A rather large envelope that informed me that I am now a grad school student.
That smile hasn't left my face since my mother read me the letter. She had to read me the letter because I was hyperventilating/dancing like a maniac around my kitchen and couldn't read out loud. I am exploding with wonder and awe and happiness. Every 5 minutes I oscillate between random bursts of excited dancing and fervent praying in thanks to God. It is so wonderful for my life to finally feel as though it's on track. I know without a doubt that this next step in my life is exactly where I need to be. It just feels right and everything is falling into place.
All I have left to say is that I hope that someday this wonderful feeling of pure unadulterated joy someday unexpectedly hits all of you.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Stop. Listen. Do.
Age is but a number. Ever hear that one? Ever notice it's usually in defense of a young person who has the hots for someone far older than themselves? That's not why I'm using it...I was just thinking about how that's often the context in which we hear it in. Not tonight.
Age is but a number. I'm 22 years old. I still have most of my life ahead of me and oh so many memories still yet to make. But today I don't feel 22. Today I feel like I am at least 100, possibly 110. I just feel old, and tired.
I've told my friends and I'll say it here. I've always believed that I am an old soul in a young body. I don't really play well with people my age. I prefer to read, crochet, attempt knitting, cook, paint and spend time outdoors. I DON'T like rap, excessive drinking, drama, pop music (most days..some days I'm into it), those funny stupid movies like Anchorman, overtly dirty jokes...pants. I really really hate pants. I walk around most days a grumpy, easily offended little old lady. At least on the inside, that's me. I'm pretty good at throwing on a smile and making everyone believe that I enjoy being out in public. (Not to say that I don't have a handful of friends whose company I thoroughly enjoy.) Let's be honest. I cause problems out in public. I get hit on by...well everyone and I never know how to handle it so I just play along stupidly thinking it will make them go away. I do this every time. There is something wrong with me and it makes roommate worry.
On the other hand. I'm also happy a lot. I love little kids, anything sparkly, sappy romance-y stuff (unless it happens in real life, then I gag), etc. I am 110% a contradiction. I make no sense.
Oh wow. I got side tracked. Whoop. Sorry.
Right. I feel old today. I'm just...done. I dunno. Maybe I feel old and tired because I don't belong in this time period. My moral code, my music taste, my hobbies, they are all more suited to a young woman in the 1930-40s than 2013. I'm just not a current girl. I think that spending time with family, or watching a sunset with your own eyes is more important than a status update, or an instagram picture or a tweet. I don't think that today's music is good. I think it sucks. Who cares that some guy is running around buying your grandpa's clothes from the thrift shop? Ok Wait. Pause. Why is that even a song? Seriously. Who cares? I don't get it. Can't we focus on more important things than the next Bachelor or Bachelorette? Can't we use our amazing ability to reach hundreds of thousands of people on the internet via social networking websites to say something a little more intriguing/thought provoking/smart than what we had for lunch, or what silly little thing just happened to us? Don't get me wrong, I get caught up in this trap to sometimes. But I guess what I'm saying is..I think it's high time we started focusing our energy on something a little more substantial. Something a little more gutsy, something a little more "we are the future". Something we can be proud of.
That being said. It's Lent. The period in the Catholic calendar right before Easter. During this time, according to the Bible, Jesus went out into the desert for 40 days and nights, and fasted and prayed before he was publicly executed. During Lent, we are supposed to give something up in our own little fast. Unfortunately, most people just give up something random for the 40 days and don't really think anything of it. That's not the point of Lent. Lent is about making a sacrifice. It's about making a sacrifice and then praying about it. It's not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be hard. It's supposed to be challenging. It's supposed to make us think about the sacrifice that Jesus made for us so that we could live. For Lent this year. I'm giving up the mindlessness. I'm giving up getting involved in the next flash in the pan. I'm giving up all that junk that clutters my mind. I'm going to make an effort to read the Bible more. I'm going to make an effort to be more social, to be more informed, to make myself useful. To not just being another human being who just puttered on through life. I want to stand out.
What about you??
Age is but a number. I'm 22 years old. I still have most of my life ahead of me and oh so many memories still yet to make. But today I don't feel 22. Today I feel like I am at least 100, possibly 110. I just feel old, and tired.
I've told my friends and I'll say it here. I've always believed that I am an old soul in a young body. I don't really play well with people my age. I prefer to read, crochet, attempt knitting, cook, paint and spend time outdoors. I DON'T like rap, excessive drinking, drama, pop music (most days..some days I'm into it), those funny stupid movies like Anchorman, overtly dirty jokes...pants. I really really hate pants. I walk around most days a grumpy, easily offended little old lady. At least on the inside, that's me. I'm pretty good at throwing on a smile and making everyone believe that I enjoy being out in public. (Not to say that I don't have a handful of friends whose company I thoroughly enjoy.) Let's be honest. I cause problems out in public. I get hit on by...well everyone and I never know how to handle it so I just play along stupidly thinking it will make them go away. I do this every time. There is something wrong with me and it makes roommate worry.
On the other hand. I'm also happy a lot. I love little kids, anything sparkly, sappy romance-y stuff (unless it happens in real life, then I gag), etc. I am 110% a contradiction. I make no sense.
Oh wow. I got side tracked. Whoop. Sorry.
Right. I feel old today. I'm just...done. I dunno. Maybe I feel old and tired because I don't belong in this time period. My moral code, my music taste, my hobbies, they are all more suited to a young woman in the 1930-40s than 2013. I'm just not a current girl. I think that spending time with family, or watching a sunset with your own eyes is more important than a status update, or an instagram picture or a tweet. I don't think that today's music is good. I think it sucks. Who cares that some guy is running around buying your grandpa's clothes from the thrift shop? Ok Wait. Pause. Why is that even a song? Seriously. Who cares? I don't get it. Can't we focus on more important things than the next Bachelor or Bachelorette? Can't we use our amazing ability to reach hundreds of thousands of people on the internet via social networking websites to say something a little more intriguing/thought provoking/smart than what we had for lunch, or what silly little thing just happened to us? Don't get me wrong, I get caught up in this trap to sometimes. But I guess what I'm saying is..I think it's high time we started focusing our energy on something a little more substantial. Something a little more gutsy, something a little more "we are the future". Something we can be proud of.
That being said. It's Lent. The period in the Catholic calendar right before Easter. During this time, according to the Bible, Jesus went out into the desert for 40 days and nights, and fasted and prayed before he was publicly executed. During Lent, we are supposed to give something up in our own little fast. Unfortunately, most people just give up something random for the 40 days and don't really think anything of it. That's not the point of Lent. Lent is about making a sacrifice. It's about making a sacrifice and then praying about it. It's not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be hard. It's supposed to be challenging. It's supposed to make us think about the sacrifice that Jesus made for us so that we could live. For Lent this year. I'm giving up the mindlessness. I'm giving up getting involved in the next flash in the pan. I'm giving up all that junk that clutters my mind. I'm going to make an effort to read the Bible more. I'm going to make an effort to be more social, to be more informed, to make myself useful. To not just being another human being who just puttered on through life. I want to stand out.
What about you??
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
The Scent of Memory
The crinkle of the plastic wrapper, the slightly cinnamon-y scent of the cracker, and the feel of cardboard in my hands. These three things are so familiar to me that for a bit I am transported back several years. All of a sudden I'm 7 or 8 years old again, sitting in my grandparent's house, eating grahm crackers and drinking milk while we watch The Price is Right. I relish in this, because I know that the next time we sit at this table it will be lunch time, and they will make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich and change the channel to Barney even though I outgrew it about 5 years ago, even though I tell them that Barney is for babies every time.
Baby Girl (the little girl I watch Tuesday mornings) decides that I've been standing still, lost in thought far too long and she really wants that graham cracker in my hand. So, with a very loud "Augh!" she launches her spoon at me from her high chair as if to say "Hey! What's taking you so long?!" Shaking my head I feel the memories slip away as I bring myself back to the present, and calmly and sweetly remind Baby Girl "oh no yelling honey, say please. Can you say please?". She responds with repeating the "puh" sound for the next 5 minutes intermittent with the smacking of her little gums and teeth as she munches on her "na" as she calls it.
Later, when Baby Girl is taking her nap, I find myself thinking once again about my grandparents. All four of them. All gone now. I realize that I don't think of them often. I remember back to the last time I had all four of them in my life, I was 8. It's been so long that it seems they have slipped away, yet every once and awhile, like today they come rushing back. Whenever I smell graham crackers, or everytime I see a crow (long story, but one of my grandfather's used to make crow noises...) or whenever I play cribbage with my father. Little memories that seem far away, like they belong to another lifetime. Little memories that come crawling back, memories triggered by a specific sight, touch, smell or sound. Memories that remind me that I carry those I have lost with me always. They are always there just past my reach, never quite in focus, but always there when I need them.
Today, this post is just to remember those I have lost. Family and friend. Those who have left this earth and are now living peacefully and joyfully with God. I miss you all and I love you more than words can say.
Rest in Peace
Dorothy Boucher
Antoine Boucher
Natalie Cote
Robert Cote
Bobby Cote
David Cahill Sr.
Skip Cote
Uncle Bud
Aunt Rosemund
Lisa
Aunt Shirley Wrubel
Jane
Don't forget to remember those who have left this walk of life. They lived joyfully, and while there is a time to mourn, there is also a time to remember all the wonderful memories they have left us with. All the joyful times that they brought smiles to our lips and to our hearts.
Baby Girl (the little girl I watch Tuesday mornings) decides that I've been standing still, lost in thought far too long and she really wants that graham cracker in my hand. So, with a very loud "Augh!" she launches her spoon at me from her high chair as if to say "Hey! What's taking you so long?!" Shaking my head I feel the memories slip away as I bring myself back to the present, and calmly and sweetly remind Baby Girl "oh no yelling honey, say please. Can you say please?". She responds with repeating the "puh" sound for the next 5 minutes intermittent with the smacking of her little gums and teeth as she munches on her "na" as she calls it.
Later, when Baby Girl is taking her nap, I find myself thinking once again about my grandparents. All four of them. All gone now. I realize that I don't think of them often. I remember back to the last time I had all four of them in my life, I was 8. It's been so long that it seems they have slipped away, yet every once and awhile, like today they come rushing back. Whenever I smell graham crackers, or everytime I see a crow (long story, but one of my grandfather's used to make crow noises...) or whenever I play cribbage with my father. Little memories that seem far away, like they belong to another lifetime. Little memories that come crawling back, memories triggered by a specific sight, touch, smell or sound. Memories that remind me that I carry those I have lost with me always. They are always there just past my reach, never quite in focus, but always there when I need them.
Today, this post is just to remember those I have lost. Family and friend. Those who have left this earth and are now living peacefully and joyfully with God. I miss you all and I love you more than words can say.
Rest in Peace
Dorothy Boucher
Antoine Boucher
Natalie Cote
Robert Cote
Bobby Cote
David Cahill Sr.
Skip Cote
Uncle Bud
Aunt Rosemund
Lisa
Aunt Shirley Wrubel
Jane
Don't forget to remember those who have left this walk of life. They lived joyfully, and while there is a time to mourn, there is also a time to remember all the wonderful memories they have left us with. All the joyful times that they brought smiles to our lips and to our hearts.
Friday, February 8, 2013
The Internet is Scary
Roommate (my roommate from college who I still call roommate so I can pretend we still live together) and I were online shopping via Skype today. You know. Looking at beautiful dresses on websites we can't afford and sighing over it all.
modcloth.com
lulus.com
lilyboutique.com
These are fantastical websites that have beautiful dresses, and I would be very happy if they just appeared in my closet someday. Like this beauty.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/storied-romance-dress
Anyway...I found some other "beauties" on modcloth.com and I use the term beauties VERY loosely.
Here are some of the highlights. Enjoy.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/safari-supper-dress
Just in case you need to look sexy while on a safari.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/leaves-of-class-dress
You wear your Grandma's clothes. You don't look incredible.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/don-t-skip-dessert-dress
Or. Skip dessert and you won't have to wear this dress.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/great-lake-shimmers-dress
Forgot your portable disco ball? No worries. Just wear this.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/flare-and-square-dress
The 70s called. They want this dress back.
And lastly, but definitely NOT least
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/steppe-it-up-dress
So you can blend in, just in case you are being chased by an axe murderer at the zoo.
Seriously. There are some very misguided dressmakers out there.
Well I hope this was as much entertainment for you on a very very snowy evening as it was for me.
Goodnight, and please NEVER buy any of these dresses. I will hunt you down and take away your credit cards. For real.
modcloth.com
lulus.com
lilyboutique.com
These are fantastical websites that have beautiful dresses, and I would be very happy if they just appeared in my closet someday. Like this beauty.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/storied-romance-dress
Anyway...I found some other "beauties" on modcloth.com and I use the term beauties VERY loosely.
Here are some of the highlights. Enjoy.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/safari-supper-dress
Just in case you need to look sexy while on a safari.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/leaves-of-class-dress
You wear your Grandma's clothes. You don't look incredible.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/don-t-skip-dessert-dress
Or. Skip dessert and you won't have to wear this dress.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/great-lake-shimmers-dress
Forgot your portable disco ball? No worries. Just wear this.
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/flare-and-square-dress
The 70s called. They want this dress back.
And lastly, but definitely NOT least
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/steppe-it-up-dress
So you can blend in, just in case you are being chased by an axe murderer at the zoo.
Seriously. There are some very misguided dressmakers out there.
Well I hope this was as much entertainment for you on a very very snowy evening as it was for me.
Goodnight, and please NEVER buy any of these dresses. I will hunt you down and take away your credit cards. For real.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Keep On Keeping On
"Keep On Keeping On. Keep On Keeping On. Keep On Keeping On."
This became my mantra said in time with the rhythm of my feet as I ran 6 avenues attempting to reach 34th Street between 10th and 11th Avenue before 6:40am.
What? You don't enjoy a brisk jog with a 25 lb backpack through New York City at 6am? Why the hell not?!
For the record. I don't enjoy this either. In the past 48 hours I have spent over 12 of them on public transportation, and I am so tired I could fall asleep sitting up right now. I have gotten maybe 10 hours of sleep total in the past two days and I am not to be trifled with right now for I would probably bite your head off. Just saying.
I had an audition in NYC for Pilobolus. If you don't know who they are, look them up. They are fantastic. Oh...I never said. By the way. I"m a dancer. I went to college for Dance and am currently attempting to get my Master's in Dance Therapy. Whoop. I forgot that I never quite got around to saying much about myself in that fail of an introductory post. Ha.
So basically Tuesday morning I woke up at 3:30am, caught a train to Boston at 4:45am, and took a bus from Boston to NYC at 7am. This put me in New York at 12pm. Whereupon I met up briefly with friends and then headed over to said audition. I was cut after round 1, which is ok. I'm tough, I can handle rejection, and I had so much fun just dancing that it didn't really matter to me.
I then spend several hours wandering Times Square waiting for one of my very close friends to get out of work. Of course I shouldn't be allowed to wander anywhere by myself, as I was promptly hit on by a black man in a monster suit who wanted to make "an Obama" with me. I swear the weirdest people find me. There is actually even some debate about whether I should be let out of my house at all considering the track record of ridiculous things that have happened to me.
Then this morning I woke up at 5am, and then proceded to sprint down 6 avenues to make my bus home in time. I made it, and then spend the next 7 or so hours in transit so I could get to work on time. The whole time muttering/thinking I just have to keep on keeping on.
Because isn't that the truth? We all have dreams.Me? I want to be a professional dancer. I want to be a dance therapist. I'm sure you all have that one special dream too. And of course, we all strive to reach them, but sometimes we fall a little short. But do we give up? Well some people do. But not me. Someday, I will reach my goals. It may not be in the exact capacity that I imagine them, but it will be wonderful and it will all finally work out timing wise. So until then, what will I be doing?
Oh you know, I'm just going to keep on keeping on. ;)
This became my mantra said in time with the rhythm of my feet as I ran 6 avenues attempting to reach 34th Street between 10th and 11th Avenue before 6:40am.
What? You don't enjoy a brisk jog with a 25 lb backpack through New York City at 6am? Why the hell not?!
For the record. I don't enjoy this either. In the past 48 hours I have spent over 12 of them on public transportation, and I am so tired I could fall asleep sitting up right now. I have gotten maybe 10 hours of sleep total in the past two days and I am not to be trifled with right now for I would probably bite your head off. Just saying.
I had an audition in NYC for Pilobolus. If you don't know who they are, look them up. They are fantastic. Oh...I never said. By the way. I"m a dancer. I went to college for Dance and am currently attempting to get my Master's in Dance Therapy. Whoop. I forgot that I never quite got around to saying much about myself in that fail of an introductory post. Ha.
So basically Tuesday morning I woke up at 3:30am, caught a train to Boston at 4:45am, and took a bus from Boston to NYC at 7am. This put me in New York at 12pm. Whereupon I met up briefly with friends and then headed over to said audition. I was cut after round 1, which is ok. I'm tough, I can handle rejection, and I had so much fun just dancing that it didn't really matter to me.
I then spend several hours wandering Times Square waiting for one of my very close friends to get out of work. Of course I shouldn't be allowed to wander anywhere by myself, as I was promptly hit on by a black man in a monster suit who wanted to make "an Obama" with me. I swear the weirdest people find me. There is actually even some debate about whether I should be let out of my house at all considering the track record of ridiculous things that have happened to me.
Then this morning I woke up at 5am, and then proceded to sprint down 6 avenues to make my bus home in time. I made it, and then spend the next 7 or so hours in transit so I could get to work on time. The whole time muttering/thinking I just have to keep on keeping on.
Because isn't that the truth? We all have dreams.Me? I want to be a professional dancer. I want to be a dance therapist. I'm sure you all have that one special dream too. And of course, we all strive to reach them, but sometimes we fall a little short. But do we give up? Well some people do. But not me. Someday, I will reach my goals. It may not be in the exact capacity that I imagine them, but it will be wonderful and it will all finally work out timing wise. So until then, what will I be doing?
Oh you know, I'm just going to keep on keeping on. ;)
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