You know when I started this blog, I was all "I'm gonna write every month" "this is gonna be great". I'm so naive sometimes.
Well, here I am after 5 months of silence. I could give a whole bunch of excuses, but we both know that I just plain forgot. My life got in the way, might as well fess up. I started grad school, and an internship and am working three jobs. (honestly can you blame me for forgetting??)
It's been awhile. I guess this is the part where we catch up, and I offer up a lovely little anecdote about how grad school is amazing and wonderful and tiring and scary all in one. I could talk about how I have found my true calling and I'm so happy. I could say that my internship is fantastic because I get to work with preschoolers...
Except, I don't really feel like it, because today I'm not feeling it. Today I am sick and pissed off. I'm sitting in my living room with a pounding headache, a sore throat, seriously blocked up sinuses and a pile of homework. Not.in.the.mood. Good thing I'm alone, because, well I would probably punch the first happy person I saw today in the teeth. Just saying. (I know, harsh.) Here's the thing, I am generally a very happy person. I have patience, and am empathetic and I listen. I hold my tongue and just listen. (I'm going to be a fantastic counselor someday). Except when I'm not. Then I'm a freaking lioness and I will mow you down like you just took my cub, and I don't care who you are.
Lines people. There are lines. Why is this so hard for people to understand? There are lines, and you don't cross them. They are there for a reason. The lines exist to keep us from doing stupid shit. You all know what I'm talking about. The line that's there between you and your boss. You don't cross that line and get all personal. It's a business relationship. You stay on your side of the line. You don't discuss aspects of your personal life, you don't ask them about theirs. You don't confide secrets, or discuss personal concerns. YOU JUST DON'T! When you do that, you place the other person in an awkward, uncomfortable state as they are walking around with knowledge that they weren't meant to possess. It's not okay people. Lines. You don't discuss personal information with everyone you meet. You don't let everyone in on what's happening. It makes things weird and confrontational when we run into someone you are having an issue with when all of your dirty laundry is out in the open with everybody. Lines. You don't send flirty texts to your employee. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE FREAKING MARRIED! LINES! You don't try and take care of someone when they didn't ask, need or want you to. Especially if you have a business relationship with them. Lines.
You think I'm naive. "Life is messy, people can't be expected to stay within the lines. There are exceptions." NO. Bull. I call a big, huge, stinking pile of bullshit. There are lines and you don't cross them. One of my textbooks has a section all about moral and ethical codes and whatnot. I think it is so completely ridiculous that there needs to be a whole section reminding counselors to never enter into a sexual relationship with a client. How is that even a thought that crosses your mind as a counselor?! Your job is to facilitate the emotional healing and well being of your client. That means that you don't have sex with them, ever, under any circumstances. "well what if you met the love of your life?" you say. Then give them a referral. It's easy. You don't cross the line. I don't cross the line. I put lines between myself and other people, why can't they respect that?!
You say "well if you always have lines and boundaries how can you say you have close friends? How are you going to fall in love?" Yes, I have lines. If I've known you for long enough, and we are just friends, or potentially something more, the lines might get smudged. But only if I trust you enough. Too many people have crossed my lines and pushed my boundaries, before I was ready, or before I had even established the line. So, until you can prove that you are worthy of erasing the line, it stays.
Maybe I'm cold. Maybe I'm naive. I have lines. I have boundaries. Don't cross them, and don't push them. They are there to protect me. You won't like what happens if you try.
