The Sum of My Parts

God works in mysterious ways. I've given up trying to understand how and have come to accept this as fact, He is mysterious, I will never fully understand reasons why He does something, but He has a plan. Good enough for me, because I'm human and make mistakes, I'm glad I'm not in charge...I would mess everything up.

This morning, in Church, I'm pretty sure one of the Bible passages read aloud was a very clear message to me. A very clear message followed by raised eyebrows and a stern look. As if God was saying...STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! I'm just going to put the entire passage here, because I think it is so important for everyone to read and know and understand.

1 Corinthians 12:14-26

"Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment...so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."

Wow.

How many of us can say that we struggle with self image issues? I'll be the first to raise my hand. We all do it, let's be honest. How many times have you looked in the mirror and hated the reflection staring back at you? Maybe you decided you are ugly, fat, stupid, going nowhere in life, whatever it is you struggle with, but you decided it. Well, it's wrong. Because the Bible clearly states here..ALL the parts are important and necessary, and beautiful and should be honored. He made us in His image, and everything is as it should be with our bodies. Nothing is out of place, nothing is wrong or ugly. We should be loving every single inch of our bodies. We should never be ashamed or hate anything about ourselves, because our Maker made us special. We are unique, there is no one else in the world exactly like me, and that's beautiful.

What's more? The Bible wasn't only talking about loving ourselves with this passage...he meant the Church. I bet many of you are thinking "Love the Church? You want me to love a building?" No. The Church isn't a building, the Church is a Body. Say what now?? Well, not ONE body. But a body made up of many parts just like our beautiful bodies. The Church is made up, not of bricks, wood, stones, whatever, but the PEOPLE who believe and follow Christ. The Church is made up of the PEOPLE who then take Christ' love and bring it to the world. The PEOPLE who are ministers, teachers, secretaries, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grocery store workers, garbage men/women, police officers, fire fighters, etc, etc. What this passage is saying is that ALL of these people are important, and all of them together make up the Body of Christ. No one part is more or less important. They are equal and necessary. So we should also be loving ALL PEOPLE equally just as we should love ALL the parts of our bodies.

I know. It's easier said than done isn't it? Oh, I'm going to stop the self hate. I'm going to stop judging myself and others. I'm going to be kind to that woman or man that drives me crazy. And then the next day, there you are staring yourself down with judgmental eyes in the mirror, or thinking things about the people walking by that you have no right to. It's the human nature, what can we do?

Oh so much. We can do oh so much. I will tell you what I have started to put into practice. My daily routine of self love. When I see my reflection staring back at me in the mirror and my mind starts disecting every inch of my flesh trying to find flaws and point them out. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and remember one of my favorite Bible verses:

Psalm 139: 13-14
 "For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Then I open my eyes and force myself to say something nice about myself. It's hard at first, but once you get in the habit of turning the negative around, you'll find you are a happier person. You will find that those negative thoughts don't take over so often. And if I find myself thinking negative thoughts about another person, I stop myself and think "What if that person could hear what I am thinking right now? How would that make them feel? How would that make me feel?" It stops me cold every time.

I hope I have given you some food for thought on this blistery cold Sunday afternoon.

The Person I am in the Shower

Wait, sorry what was this post entitled? Yes. I turn into a very strange Doctor Who-esque monster/alien upon contact with water. Just kidding.

But actually, I realized the other day I am a completely different person in the shower than I am in real life. Anyone else experience this??

What I mean is for some reason, upon entering the shower and feeling the warm water engulf my poor, freezing body (the heat in our house is a perpetual 61 degrees...I spend most days wrapped in fleece) I am a different person. All of a sudden I am an incredibly proficient singer, regardless to what I sound like. Also, no judgement please, I turn into an incredibly fierce hip hop dancer. I know, weird right? My shower is the place where I dance like a freak while blasting music. Deal. It makes me happy.

The point is, that I could care less who is in the house while I am in the shower, I sing at the top of my lungs regardless of how on key I am. I dance like an idiot, because no one can see me, and I bop around the room like a five year old who doesn't know how to dance. Why don't I attack all aspects of my life with this fierceness and confidence?? I mean I do sometimes, but why don't I just stop worrying and approach everything with the reckless abandon that is hiding, right beneath my skin, waiting to be let out the next time I step into the shower.

Well, no more. I am making one of my new years resolutions to embrace my shower self, ignore my judgmental inner voice of evil self criticism (I can really do a number on my own self confidence..). IT STOPS HERE! I refuse to continue doubting, hiding and being meek. So watch out, if you see some crazed blonde-haired girl running around singing at the top of her lungs and dancing like an idiot, it's probably me.

Ok. Just kidding. But really I'm going to weld those two parts of myself together, and all I'm saying is you can't feign ignorance, I warned you all.

The Inception of Perception

I know, the title rhymes. I got excited too.

I bet half of you went straight to the movie Inception, I was actually referring to the original definition, not the idea of putting a thought into someone's mind via their dreams (although this is super cool and if you haven't seen the movie yet, get out from under a rock, watch it and get ready for your mind to be blown).

Inception - the beginning, start, commencement

and just for giggles

Perception - the act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding

One of those age old questions...How do I find happiness? I feel like that question is quintessentially what every human being's quest on earth is. We seek true happiness in all that we do, trying to find that perfect job, house, creating a family, surrounding ourselves with people that make us happy, etc, etc. And yet, so many of us are grumpy, bitter and jaded. Our pursuits of happiness more often than not leaves us unsatisfied. I believe this is the case because most people are searching for happiness in things that are only momentary. Money doesn't make one happy, but a lot of people believe it will and therefore spend most of their lives in pursuit of large quantities of it, only to end up miserable and alone.

I am a happy person, always have been and probably always will be. That's not to say that I don't have days where I can be a grumpy, scary lioness, but for the most part I'm chipper and cheerful. How do I stay so happy? Well for the most part, I accredit my happiness to my faith in God, cliche? Perhaps, but I swear it's true, having faith in something, and knowing that in the end, it's out of your hands takes so much stress and pressure off of a person. 

But that's not all folks! Because it's also all about perception. How you view the chain of events in your life makes such a difference on your happiness and outlook on life. Are you a glass half full kind of person, or a glass half empty? When something happens in your life do you focus on the negative ways it's impacted you, or do you try to find some good that came out of it? Because if all you see is the negative, then how will you know if something good happens to you? 

If all you see are the negative aspects of something how can you notice the little things that make you happy? I'm all about the little things. The trick is, you have to look for them, and once you are on the lookout, it's so easy to find a million little things a day that can make you happy. Once you get in the habit of doing that, well how can any once instance suddenly ruin your day completely to the point where nothing good happened at all?

How can you notice those nice little moments like when you are running like a boss, feeling bada** because you are listening to "Shipping Up to Boston", and you make eye contact with another runner going the other way and about 5 gigs of information pass between you in that glance "Hey. You're dying too? Awesome. It's so cold, this sucks. Don't give up. We got this.". You nod at each other, and then run that last mile even harder, because all you needed was that nod of encouragement to light that fire under your feet again. That is an amazing moment, but if you aren't looking for those little amazing moments and you miss them. You might never have even noticed the other runner, never made eye contact and never got that encouragement you needed. Instead you might focus all day on the fact that your run was awful because it was cold and you felt like you were dying the last 1.5 miles. Instead of how great it feels that you took charge of your fitness level and went running in the first place, and then pushed yourself that last mile. *

The Inception of Perception. In other words, start actively taking charge of how you view the events in your life and see if it just so happens to change your outlook and happiness level. 

*In case you are wondering, yes I run. Yes, this exact story happened to me and yes it was awesome.

A Heavy Heart.

I am selfish. Here I was complaining (internally) all day about how this went wrong, or some annoying situation presented itself, or so and so was driving me crazy, and I went and forgot the date.

A month ago TODAY 26 families had a loved one ripped violently out of their lives for no apparent reason. It breaks my heart that those 20 babies who were killed never got to grow up to be the amazing men and women that I'm sure they would have become. My "crappy Monday" was nothing compared to the pain that the families of those victims went through as they marked the one month anniversary of the cold-blooded murders of their loved ones.

So please listen to this as you reflect on the names of those beautiful souls that have gone to rest in the arms of the Lord.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IO64urOFNaY

Charlotte Bacon, 6

Rachel D'Avino, 29

Olivia Engel, 6

Dylan Hockley, 6

Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, 47

Jesse Lewis, 6

Ana Marquez-Greene, 6

Grace McDonnell, 7

Anne Marie Murphy, 52

Emilie Parker, 6

Noah Pozner, 6

Jessica Rekos, 6

Lauren Rousseau, 30

Mary Sherlach, 56

Victoria Soto, 27

Daniel Barden, 7

 Josephine Gay, 7

Madeleine Hsu, 6

Catherine Hubbard, 6

Chase Kowalski, 7

James Mattioli, 6

Jack Pinto, 6

Caroline Previdi, 6

Avielle Richman, 6

 Benjamin Wheeler, 6

 Allison Wyatt, 6

So it is with a heavy heart that I post this, and many a prayer up to Heaven for those aching hearts here on earth. 

John 10:27-29 “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.”

The Generous Game

Peals of laughter, unexpected pouncing, uncontrollable smiles and hugs, lots of hugs. A weekend with best friends always my heart swell with love and happiness. Nothing ever goes as planned and it's always the most fun we have ever had.

It all started Friday night, when I got to spend time with some friends from college that I haven't seen in awhile. The beautiful model, the soon to be NYC sensation and the amazing Boston ballerina. :) The evening was filled with Mexican food, frozen yogurt, cake pops, funny anecdotes, crazy stories and hilariously bad dance videos. Just what the doctor ordered for a cold, rainy, icy night after a long week at work.

                                         (I'm the crazed one in the corner wearing glasses...)

Then this morning, The Three Musketeers were once again wreaking havoc as we gallivanted through the nearby city. The Three Musketeers consist of two of my oldest and dearest friends, friends since middle school. True to form, we started with the plan to get brunch at IHOP, ended up getting slightly lost, accidentally drove the wrong way down a few one way streets and ended up in a wonderful little hole in the wall diner. Which by the way, had one of the best omelets I've ever had, so there IHOP and your 1.5 hour wait....

Aaaanyway, The Three Musketeers and I have this thing called The Generous Game. Well, we've never actually called it that until today, but it's something that we've done for years. It's something that we've done for years without ever talking about it, or deciding it's something we would do. We just do it. You're probably wondering what I mean by the Generous Game. Ha! Well...basically one of us does something extremely generous for another member of our little group without expectation of reciprocation, simply because we want to. And the other members protest and try to pay the other one back. The originator refuses money and that's the end. The next time we meet, it begins again, but miraculously (without a single word having been uttered, or a schedule made) a different member begins the whole process. It's a plethora of random acts of kindness and generosity between us and it's beautiful. What other way to celebrate our friendship and our mutual love of a equally generous God, than by being spontaneously generous ourselves? I challenge you all to do the same. It's simple, next time you go out, you simply pick up the tab, maybe not for the whole group, just one member, but you do it without the expectation of being reimbursed. Or you give the friend who travels the most a little extra gas money, or an unexpected present simply because you were thinking of someone. It gets you in a charitable, generous mood, and it makes you feel wonderful. Challenge accepted? I hope so.

Because Technology Hates Me

If you want to subscribe to this blog you have to scroll down all the way to the bottom and underneath Home, in tiny letters it says subscribe to posts (atom) click on this and voila! I tried to change it and the website won't let me...probably because most technology hates me and doesn't let me do cool things. Go figure. Sorry if there was any confusion.

Good Riddance Evil Laptop

Hello again readers...if I have any. Today I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Today I feel as though I am light as a feather and if gravity wasn't constantly pulling me down and anchoring me to the earth I would be floating up, up and away. Up to the heavens. Alas, gravity exists so here I am dutifully following it's laws.

I am so light because, after much stress, anxiety, worrying and tears my application for graduate school is sent off. Well, mostly sent off. There are a few loose ends, but the major grunt work is done and over with. Boy does this feel wonderful.  Or at least it felt wonderful until my old laptop which contains every single paper I ever wrote on it decided it would end it's life with one final act of f*** you Devon. It decided that it would die off on my just as I was trying to email the paper I had chosen for my academic writing sample to send off to Lesley. I had just spent an hour proofreading, and fixing the paper so it was amazing aaaaaand lost. But worry not, dear reader, because see God has a plan and we can't always see it, but he has one. My senior year of college, I didn't have a printer, which meant whenever a paper was due I had to email it to myself, drag my butt out of bed 30 minutes earlier than I usually would, and trudge over to the library before class to print it out. It made me rather grumpy at times, and when the library wasn't open when I got there, it made me slightly homicidal at 7:20am on a Monday morning. However, this means that there is a copy of every single paper I wrote my senior year just sitting there in my email account waiting for me to access it. See? Told you, there is a reason for everything in this world and we can't always see it at the moment.

So, keep your head up, you might be going through some tough time (not saying that whatever you are going through parallels my paper problems, I'm sure that is nothing compared to what some people face every morning, and I'm not saying my life is horrible or anything, this was a minor pain in the butt) or facing something that's just plain annoying, but there's a bigger plan out there, we just can't see it. Sometimes it takes hindsight to realize that whatever it is we went through was just preparing us for some little setback further down the line that we are now equipped to handle.

Me. Well sort of.

I know. It seems like everyone and their mother has a blog these days. So who am I to assume that what I have to say is important enough to garner an audience. Maybe no one will read this, and you know, oddly I'm okay with that. Come what may, I will diligently place my dear and precious thoughts and leave it up to you, oh wanderer of the internet, whether or not you deem them important or interesting enough to warrant a read through.

Well then, perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is not actually Lionne, it's Devon, but I prefer Dev. Lionne is my nickname from a very dear friend/confidant/roommate of mine and it sort of stuck. Actually, she has a blog and you should all read it, because she's brilliant. She will deny it until she's blue in the face, but it's true, don't let her tell you otherwise. Check it out:

 http://heavnlyflower.blogspot.com/

Oh dear, I've been sidetracked...this happens frequently. If it bothers you, you should leave this page right now and never return, because I'm giving you fair warning, it happens often. I can't even count how many times I've left someone hanging in the middle of a story because a newer, more interesting thought just occured to me.

How do I explain who I am? The English language contains no such word that singularly can summarize a person. Simply put I am a human being, and human beings are alive. But that doesn't quite cover it now does it? There are so many things that are alive...plants, trees, animals, just alive doesn't even begin to explain the complexity of a human being. I am a Christian, an Auntie, a nanny, a friend, a dancer, a scholar, a writer, an artist, a daughter, a model, a sister, a Godmother. I am creative, intelligent, kind, hopefully humble, sometimes a little selfish, fearful, excited, happy, sad, loved. I am always laughing, singing, pretending, loving, doing, moving, pretending I'm not crying, joking, unintentionally flirting, intentionally flirting, talking, shouting...I could go on for days. Human beings are so much, and can do so much that no single word can ever describe any human being past, present or future. At any given time every single person on this planet is most of if not all those things I listed. So how then, can we be so STUPID as to EVER label another human being as one word?! How can we label people and file them into categories. No one word ever defines a human being. Human beings are complex and beautiful and brilliant. ALL OF THEM.

Labels. They are stupid. Stop using them.

See what I did there? I started telling you about myself and got sidetracked...oh boy

Perhaps it's better if I just let you get to know me little by little through this blog. K? Okay.